Dear Auntie Em,
To date, I have just about made ends meet at law school thanks to a lucrative part-time office manager role I have been fortunate enough to hold, but now it looks like I might lose this job and I am extremely worried.
I was in such a fluster the other day, trying to think of ways I could save money and what not, that when the lady in Pret asked me if I wanted to take away my food or eat in, I said “take away” – and then, still in such a fluster, I ate in.
It’s a terrible breach of a lawyer’s ethical duties, I know. But how else can I reduce my expenditure other than through tactics such as these?
But she is an aunt and has a psychology degree.
As a teenager, Auntie Em had a dream predicting 9/11.
You’ve come to the right place! I happen to be rather an expert at getting stuff for free (see my blagger’s guide).
Let’s start with those Pret sandwiches. Did you know that Pret give their sandwiches away for free? It’s true, you just need to queue up when they close at around 10pm. They usually give them to homeless people, so you might need to dress a little shabbier than usual, and hey presto! Retain your salvaged sandwich overnight, spread mayo on to soften it up a bit and the next day you can dig into your crayfish tails with the rest of your Pret-eating pals!
Another option could be to look for some other form of employment. I’ve heard that students these days can earn a tidy sum from their youth and vigour. Possible options might include:
Working in a strip club
All of these lucrative options have the added benefits of flexible hours, and a good chance of getting tips and being generally admired. Plus they require virtually no complex thoughts, so you’ll get a nice rest from your studies.
The only difficulty I foresee would be if you had a parent in the public eye, say a politician or something of that ilk, then you might come under some unwanted press scrutiny. And you wouldn’t want that, would you dear?
Lots of love,
Auntie Em xxx
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