The language of the legal directory: Decoded

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By Wigapedia on

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Wigapedia reveals the harsh reality behind the euphemisms used by the Legal 500 and Chambers & Partners to describe lawyers…

“A great analyst” = Pulls you up on all your typos

“Very thorough” = Usually reads almost all the papers. Unlike the solicitor

“Client friendly” = Usually buys lunch

“A name to note” = Dodgy, will probably steal the teacups in the mediation

“Direct” = Rude

“Robust” = Very rude

“Great advocacy skills” = Can’t write an advice for toffee

“In demand” = Too expensive

“Professional” = Shaves regularly

“Approachable” = Cheap

“Up and coming” = Very cheap

“Real attention to detail” = Can’t see the wood for the trees

“Committed” = Quite mad, borderline certifiable

“Well-regarded” = Stands his round at lunchtime

“Calm” = Usually appears to be asleep

“Best in her field” = Close friend of the Editor

“Formidable” (if male) = Formidable

“Formidable” (if female) = Probably a lesbian

“Knowledgeable” = Has his own White Book

“Empathetic” = Sometimes bursts into tears in conferences

“Patient” = Insists on very long conferences

“Practical” = Doesn’t know any law

“Succinct” = Writes short emails. Never answers the phone

“Resilient” = No spring chicken

“Focuses on the real issues” = Usually reads the instructions, but not the bundle

“Enthusiastic” = Will take on anything, no matter how rubbish it may be

“Authoritative” = A complete pain in the arse who treats the trainees like pond-life

“Cerebral” = Bald

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