The 7 best moments from Judge Rinder’s impressive ITV debut

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2 Hare Court barrister — who hopes to be the UK’s answer to Judge Judy — has star quality


Robert Rinder, a criminal barrister at 2 Hare Court Chambers, has made his debut in the UK’s answer to hit US TV series Judge Judy.

In the first of the 20-episode courtroom reality show, which aired at 2pm yesterday on ITV, Rinder proved himself to be just as dramatic and no-nonsense as his famous American counterpart as he dealt with a dispute between a bride and her wedding photographer and a separate stand-off over a used car deal.

The new TV judge’s performance was all the more impressive given the fact that he had to recover from an awful start, before bouncing back to deliver some great lines…

1. Oops!

“Is that your mum with you?” asks Rinder.

“That’s my sister,” responds the claimant.

“…I need a moment,” mumbles the embarrassed judge.

(To turn on the sound, click on the top left corner of each image)

2. You’re lovely!

Judge Rinder describes the expert witness as “lovely”.

3. Biting insults

“You’re the type of woman that frankly, if you’d been at the last supper you’d have asked for ketchup,” quips Rinder.

4. Don’t interrupt the Rinder

“I’m talking, I’m ruling, I’m not listening!” thunders the judge.

5. Judicial authority

Claimant: “But it was a special day of my life!”


Claimant: “No…”

Judge Rinder: “Good.”

6. The, er, smell of justice

“I can smell a lie like a fart in a lift,” warns Rinder to a seller of a used car.

7. And finally…a gratuitous dig at Darlington

Judge Rinder: “The problem is, there’s a lovely phrase, which, let me tell you, in Darlington they think of nothing else, it’s called Caveat Emptor.”


2 Hare Court barrister set to be UK’s telly Judge Judy [Legal Cheek]


Ann O'Brien

And that’s an impressive example of our justice system in action?


Not Amused

It’s not an example of our justice system in action. It’s not even trying to be an example of our justice system in action.

The use of the term ‘Judge’ is odd and I think misleading – but then I’m no expert.

What this presumably is is televised mediation/arbitration. But again, I am unsure, would have to look into it and very much doubt the producers know or care.


Len poller

Even on his best day,he’s not as masculine as judge Judy on her worst!


The Real Niteowl

Judy is a real judge in one of the largest state jurisdictions in the USA – a jurisdiction (the city court) that handles a quarter of all cases in a state of over 20 million people in the world’s leading city

This guy? He looks like an extra from Harry Potter.



What are you on about? She’s a retired judge on a programme which is based on an arbitration arrangement exactly like in Judge Rinder. She’s no more a real judge than he is.


The Real Niteowl

Wrong again. She was (not is) a real life judge unlike this poker who has never been a judge. Managed the family court in NY.

Where did they find this guy? Was he one of the cast of “Young Sherlock Holmes”. Because he is not a good representative of your society or culture to the world, except it seems, within the limited audience of your nation.



I love your implied insult towards the U.K
Because we all know that the U.S.A is so amazing, not



A real Gobshite , as we say in the Emerald Isle


Paul Kendall

Laugh out loud… what is this carry on judge? His voice is too upper class twit… .. you need a woman to do Judy UK oh and slow moving black guy…


The Real Niteowl

“His voice is too upper class twit…”

I think you mean “effeminate” or “dainty”.


Not Amused

FYI Niteowl we’re not all raging homophobes.


The Real Niteowl

A dainty or effeminate voice is a characteristic of many men, but now since you have outed him: what’s that got to do with anything?

The point is that he comes across to an international audience as a grown up slightly less chubby version of a character from the 1985 film Young Sherlock Holmes. Believe it or not as that sounds to your English sensibilities and sense of the world, that’s not really something commanding of any respect. But it does confirm the impression we have that London and England is really just like another European country and village – albeit one that speaks our language.



I think you’ll find it’s OUR language – clue is in the name.


The Real Niteowl

Not anymore it isn’t. Next time you save us from invasion like we, the Canucks and Aussies had to with you last century, you can claim it back. Until then, it’s ours.

I found him! From a Spielberg classic to this mawkish faux-trial nonsense? His career on the screen surely has taken a turn for the worse -


Not Amused

It is difficult to see how I have ‘outed’ someone whose marriage was officiated by a Hollywood star …

As for the rest of your nonsense – YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME. You *always* give your own subjective opinion and then try to pretend that everyone else agrees with you and that you are somehow the elected representative sent to speak on their behalf. He does not come across to the world or the universe or whichever other ridiculously large constituency you claim to represent as a character from a film in the 1980s THAT NO ONE BUT YOU HAS EVER SEEN.

You just come across as ridiculous and if I were you I’d tone down the silliness.

IF you cross the line and start being homophobic then be warned – that’s not acceptable. If you just want to have a silly fight over which country’s embarrassing reality TV star is more/less embarrassing then please play nicely.


The Real Niteowl

I do nothing all the time, except, much like you, express my opinion.

First, before you calm down and realise you are coming across as a Tyrant on the Internet simply because you don’t like my opinion, and can’t counter it except with broad generalizations:

1. Everyone has seen this film. In fact a most important export from your nation – Harry Potter – seems, objectively looked at, derived largely from the look and feel of it. Rinder looks cannily like the schoolboy bully in the movie, and shares the same “on screen persona”.

2. Calling out someone as dainty or effeminate in voice is about as remote as you could get from homophobic behavior, which I would never engage in. Many man share this characteristic, as I stated before your self indulgent rant.

But I understand, in your nation, you gaol people for expressing their opinion, so you are forgiven for being such an Internet Tyrant. Please, for the sake of the civilized world, direct it at someone else, or I might be tempted to use CAPITAL LETTERS TO MAKE A POINT, something I have learned from you.

Nope, still doesn’t look right. Where were you “educated” to pick up such a habit? Oxbridge?


The Real Niteowl

And allow me to say, as I have tried to, that he does have a remarkable resemblence in look and tone to Dudley, AKA “snide student” from Young Sherlock Holmes


Chris Kelly

LOL – Bert on Judge Judy is part of the show. From the “come forward” gesture, to the slow plod as he collects papers and delivers them to JJ.


If it's not Patrick Swayze it's nothing

He’s obviously gay… which I think was a great casting decision and made the show far more entertaining than I thought it would be.


mick jones

just another puff on telly



Very enlightened. Any other progressive, modern and relevant views to share with us?



You are disgusting.



Omg are you still living a cave you cant say



Judge rinder you rule, literally xxxxx


Just FYI...



A friend of mine appeared before Judge Judy in New York and told me that she (was) pretty much the same on the bench as she is on tee-vee.

I wonder if it would be more compelling to watch a recently retired county court judge. Like DJ Armon-Jones.


Not Amused

Well if you want someone highly opinionated and interventionist who ignores all relevant law and procedure and never bothers to ask themselves whether what they are doing is ‘allowed’ then the Yanks were obviously on to a good thing in recruiting from the Family Division *ba-dum-tish*



It would be a better programme if Rinder wasn’t so irritating.



leave him alone I LOVE HIM


Christine Delaney

Brilliant show should be on evening tv so every body can enjoy this programme.
I know it is filmed in the studio but are they real cases, made up cases or re enactments???

Well done. Christine.



I imagine the cases are real or we will be seeing a new programme dealing with a raft of suits from the advertisers. As for Judge Scheindlin being retired, i have trouble dealing with that. If you put in a small claim and it goes to her court, you still get a ruling and she rattles her justice through at a fair old lick so overall win-win for the system, no?


Kathy Bainbridge

I Love Judge Rinder !Excellent! What a personality More Please



Im with you more more more plz xxx



Ah Niteowl, how I missed you. Have you just come back from your mental breakdown?


The Real Niteowl

Breakdown? No, because I never bother using Rolls Royce engines.



You manufacture planes?? Wow! You have so much important stuff to do but you still find time to come here and point out our faults. I know I speak for everyone in the UK when I say that we are enormously grateful.


The Real Niteowl

Something you, Not Amused and the other creampuffs here oblivious to the world don’t really understand: You are a captive of your society, as we all are. You are fascinated by ideas of class, status, Oxbridge, London, “Empire”” and other hallmarks and positional goods within your society. The rest of the world really doesn’t care at all. Rinder just doesn’t come across very well at all to an international audience*, so I guess he’s perfect for the stay at home mothers of [insert name here – shire] on “bennies”, prevalent as they are within your nation.

*Look at this for an idea of what I am referring to. After 15 seconds of that accent and presentation – gaudy as it is – almost any person, let alone lawyer, would just switch it off and declare the speaker to be “frightening”, but I do understand that within the Audience of England, he is probably a perfect presenter.

Which says it all.



You are, as always, exactly right. I shall write to ITV immediately and ensure that they do not ever broadcast or syndicate this programme outside the UK lest anyone be exposed to our wretched provincial ways.

Ohhhhh say can you seeeeee lalalalalaaaaaa home of the brave! We’re here for your fucking freedom!

Anyway, Niteowl, given how little anyone else cares about us awful English lawyers, it must be both galling and tiring for you to spend so much time on a blog about English lawyers telling us how much you and the rest of the world don’t care about us. So here’s an offer (distinct from the one about the wig and you shouting at me, though that one’s still on the table, wink wink): I think I’m ready to take over your role. I can police this blog and remind everyone about how inconsequential they are, and you can get back to the important things you have to do like manufacturing aeroplanes and being Scalia’s gentleman fluffer. Whaddaya say old buddy old pal? Do ya think I’m up to it?


Rob dear

Fuck you realshiteowl . Sorry everyone else has to exist other than Americans! How inconvenient for you that you have to keep re writing history, ad nauseum, to make yourselves feel like “the world police!” Oh and sorry that our immensely better British armed forces got in the way of all your bullets and missiles when your lot kept shooting ours by mistake in Iraq, Afghanistan etc etc. You morons. Must be a terrible drain on your resources. Once again sorry we non Americans keep living, but I know you’re all working on that one!



What a prick u are nightowl and its Jail not gaol. You steal our language and change a few words to make it look like your own and now think that you have the right to slag us off. The use of the word creampuffs shows you are a homophobe, whats wrong daddy take your virginity you redneck. Get a life mate.


James Lindsay

What a fantastic programme and what a refreshing approach from the judiciary, an intelligent, witty man with an immense understanding and interpretation of the law which he makes clear for people to understand. Well done to Judge Rinder, he keeps the spirit and focus of the law with a no nonsense approach in his courtroom, taking the stuffiness away and injecting his humour in a non offensive way, excellent television viewing.



Niteowl: can you please tell us some more things that are better in America? I’ve totally got the point about law, food, reality TV judges, but I must know more. Ovens? Shoes? Flags? Gravity? I crave your criticism. Can we meet up and do it in person? I could wear my wig and you could tell me all the ways that Judge Judy is better than Lord Neuberger.


The Real Niteowl

Irrelevant trolling there, but since you asked.

Niteowl is better. In every way.



Do you mean you are better in the states than you are here? I don’t understand. Please explain further.

I do understand about Scalia though. Do you think he would come over on loan and sort things out for us? Lord Vader keeps throwing the queen off of ledges instead of giving judgment.


The Real Niteowl

You quite obviously don’t understand, with your obviously ridiculous comment in reply. The point is that the “world” simply doesn’t care about what any “Lord” from your miniature island thinks. On the other hand, when Scalia speaks, people around the world (and the legal world) listen.

And he has no need for a fucking stupid medieval title to do it.



Really? Yet again Niteowl you put accross your opinion as fact with no evidence to back it up.

That’s the first time I’ve seen you use profanity in a post – are you heading for another breakdown?



If Neuberger is Vader, then Scalia is… Admiral Ackbar? It’s a trap!


The Real Niteowl

No, Neue is more like a Jar Jar Binks from an outlying world dependency of the Empire.

Scalia is like the motherfucking Force!



You are rather quite offensive towards the United Kingdom. At least we have real culture here and a rich history-your countries past is ruled by pasty old men as is its present.


The Real Niteowl

I see now. Scalia on his worst day would make even your “Lord (Vader?)” or whatever Lord you want look like Jason Statham trying his best efforts to speak.

Scalia has no need to use stupid medieval titles either.

Get it?


Peter Jones

I just watched one of the Judge Rinder clips on YouTube. He’s quite amusing. I just wonder whether his well-spoken accent will put some working-class Brits off watching it. What do you think?



Just seen an episode. Found it quite amusing but cant help but think the female clerk or whatever her title would be, who often takes any documents from the claimant/defendant up to the judge and also escorts the two out at the end, is the woman from Shameless who played Franks Girlfriend, libby croker. Can it therefore be real? If its not her then its an uncanny likeness!



I think the court clerk could in fact be Mrs Doyle’s younger sister. What would you say to a cup father, ah go on!!!


Not Amused

“Can it therefore be real?”

This is an odd question to ask. It is not even trying to pretend that it is ‘real’ in the sense of being a real court in England & Wales. He’s not a Judge and the use of the word Judge is interesting – I’m unsure whether it is a regulated word? But it is a TV show of supposedly real disputes being resolved by way of televised arbitration at the consent of the parties involved.

No one tells me if ‘Judge’ is a regulated word or if impersonating a Judge is a civil/criminal offence. Do I have to go look things up myself these days?!?


The Real Niteowl

He’s no more a judge than Tom Baker is a time “Lord” or John Wayne was a “Duke” or Carrie Fisher is a “Princess”.

Are you that stupid? Of course they can use the title. It’s fucking TV!


The Real Niteowl

And another thing:

You live in the unreality of an existence that appears to be only known to you. Refer to my comment on the story about “what to wear”, one you have only proven is true by your subsequent comments to that article.

Was Peter O’Toole a RAF “Flying Officer”? . Was Lazenby or Moore a former SBS “Commander”? Is this actor/lawyer a “Judge”?

As my grandpa used to say, “Grow a fucking brain.” You know how I know he was right? He had to cross the fucking Atlantic Ocean dodging U Boats and enemy air strikes just to stop farmboys from Bavaria having their way with your women and your country in your Churchill-Versaille induced European civil wars – ostensibly something yours couldn’t even fucking do from across a 20 mile channel.

Get off the fucking internet. Please!



Yeah wooo! USA! USA! Shock and awe!


The Real Niteowl

It’s not just the USA. The Canucks and Aussies also had to pull your asses out of the fire last century.

Show a modicum of respect for the history of your poverty and war ridden nation and to these people who made it’s present day existence possible.



Manifest Destiny! Rumsfeld! Fox News! Woo Yeah!


Juan Pertayta

Nurse! Nurse! Quickly – the screens!



Wow, I missed this one before my earlier post. Seriously Niteowl, see someone who can prescribe you some medication before this gets worse. It’s just the comments section of an internet page.


The Real Niteowl

I can understand – you and most of your BBCPravda drenched nation finds it hard to believe there are other countries out there where people have vastly better lives. We understand that. After all, we are on the outside looking in.

Deal with it.



Ahh, I’m just joshing with you Niteowl. Come on, let’s be chums. Why all this negativity? There may be trouble ahead, but while there’s music, and moonlight and love and romance, let’s face the music, put on our wigs, and dance.

Now I must get back to work, or I shan’t be finished in time to watch the BBCPravda special on how well the Empire is doing.


Juan Pertayta

Don’t mention wigs to him for God’s sake, or Bellevue will have another client.



I can see what’s going on here. Niteowl, was there ever a girl at school that you kept picking on? Pulling her hair, calling her names? Because you secretly had a crush on her? I think substitute the UK for the girl and we have our answer.


The Real Niteowl

You misinterpret a healthy dose of reality that is injected into your BBCPravda drenched mind as aggression.

The rest of the world calls it “history” and “reality”.



Get a life !! All families suffered in WW1 and WW2


The Real Niteowl

In no small part thanks to your Lord of the Isles.

The 20th Century in Europe – the house that Jack built



from a forensic psych’s POV I would say thats an extremely serious and complex paranoid delusional schemata Niteowl has re: the UK. There are people who can help you with that, if you find its keeping you from your sleep and affecting your relationships (if any)


Rob dear

It’s 26 miles at its very narrowest. You silly sausage.



Your Grandpa was an astute man, clearly you didn’t take his advice.


Mrs linda love

Looks like it’s going to be very entertaining.he also has a sense of humour and takes no prisoners. I wish rob and partner best wishes and a long and happy marriage.



Been watching the show this week and am getting used to the rather overdone ‘Judge’. He does, at times, seem to have escaped from a ‘Carry On’ film though.
I’ve seen the American version and hate to admit that the primitive colonials do the thing better.



Great entertainment and thats what the tv producers were looking for.
I’ll keep watching for the wonderful remarks…. “caveat emptor” a Darlington favourite
Classic British wit . Keep it up judge.



i think hes very funny, and entertaining to watch, Martin



Ah……the Real Niteowl…………..the virginity is strong in this one………………



I should hope so, he’s only fourteen.


Paul Smith

Typical American… “We/ours are/is better/bigger/brasher/faster/louder/fatter etc…

They may well be on the outside looking in on our world but they never seem to realise what’s going on in their own Star Spangled Banner Land (of the free – if you’re a white Christian that is).

Is it really better there?
Ask the Native American population and see what they say.
Ask the black population and see what they say.
Ask the gay community and see what they say.
Ask the Asian immigrants and see what they say.
Ask the anti-gun lobby and see what they say.
Ask the people of New Orleans.
Ask the veterans of Vietnam.

What the U.S. DOESN’T realise is that the rest of the World see them for what they really are…

Unenlightened, closeted and stupid.

A lot of this is to do with their beliefs…
A black person is probably a criminal.
An Asian person is probably a terrorist.
A gay person will probably want to have sex with me and, most likely my children too (as a homosexual is exactly the same as a paedophile).
I need a gun because there is a high probability that my house will be broken into and my family will be taken hostage.
Our food is better because there is more of it.
A man with a moustache looks masculine.

The truth of the matter is that we look at them with nothing but disdain. Unbelievably they even elected (for TWO terms) a bumbling, moronic idiot that reflected what the entire World had assumed for years about Americans.

That they hadn’t a clue what was going on outside of their own borders.

They prove this every time they open their mouths by spewing out some uneducated drivel that is based on hearsay, gossip and propaganda…
“Global Warming? Not sure what you’re talking about there buddy? Sounds like a load of baloney to me!”
“What’s that you say? Metric system? Nah, never heard of it. We’re ok with what we’ve got thanks.”
“Iraq. Yeah we kicked their asses because they brought down the Twin Towers.”
“We went after Saddam Hussein because he was the Head of al-Qaeda.”

Americans bore me. They have nothing of any interest to say because their opinions are so narrow-minded. Perhaps this is why some of their historical pastimes have included:

Killing their own President.
Listening to the President lie (“I did not have relations with that woman”).
Electing yet another hapless tw*t into Office.
Listening to the President lie (“I am not a crook”).
Not leaving the country.
Driving on the wrong side of the road.
Losing wars.



Well said!! Sums the Americans up totally. Big-headed, brash, arrogant and ignorant.



Well stated Paul, sums up the American way. If you cant shoot it, eat it.


La la lou

Love this show he is rather a funny chap. Night owl get a life you bore yawn



This show is brilliant and very entertaining. Night owl. Chill dude. You need to find other ways to express yourself instead of ranting.



Wow! I cannot believe such venom from across the pond and I hope and pray that not all Americans think and feel like this moron…. In the interest of freedom and democracy, the world went to war. It was a World War! Not American bailing nations out – the whole world went to war! And given that they are the first to put the boot in when a fight is on – the Americans could do little but join in… they couldn’t resist not being part of the fight now could they? Doing something that may be in the name of humanity and protecting innocent human life is just not in they psyche…..Did I miss that point or has this guy simply lost the plot about the principle of helping each other, collaborating and supporting nations who react when crackpots and vigilante’s stamp their feet….

I am English. Not British, not European. I am English. English born, raised, cultured and educated. I am deeply proud of my country, its customs, practices and history and all it stands for in the world… and how we have shaped the world (Including America!)

If this how citizens of USA nuture behaviours I am so very glad that I was not one of those people who clambered on boats and took over the America’s all those years ago – I could have been part of this mans little world instead of being English and that would have been tragic.



It all begs another question. Never mind the quality comparison between Judge Scheindlin and “Judge” Rinder. We can maybe learn more from comparisons between the litigants either side of the pond. Early indications are that we are all populated by ghastly heathens!



What a dreadful programme, nothing like a proper Court. Judge puffter is such a self opinionated, narcissistic big head



Seriously, is there no moderation on the comments allowed on this page?



If he is such a successful and dare I say it a formidable lawyer then why is he doing this vacuuous, cheap crap?
Does he truly believe he’s the equivalent of Jeremy Kyle in a wig and gown?
This programme makes a mockery of the British legal system. A laughable non-event.
Let the Americans do the faux-court rubbish, they are good at it. After all, most of them have the brains and culture of a U.H.T. yoghurt.


Not Amused

“If he is such a successful and dare I say it a formidable lawyer then why is he doing this vacuuous, cheap crap?”

Because he practiced in legal aid law and there is ZERO money left. Judge Rinder is exactly what happens when the legal aid lawyers start to starve – they do other, often embarrassing things, for cash. Unless you opposed the cuts you really are to blame.

FYI – don’t be surprised if this trend gets worse



Guys, calm down. Niteowl is a troll. Most Americans are perfectly fine and so are most English people. What does all this have to do with a legal blog?



He’s even made a hash of the ancient “in [generic Northern place] they speak of little else” joke


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