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The Apprentice review: ex-Slaughter and May associate humiliated in ‘Fat Daddy’ video flop

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What happens when lawyers try to get videos to go viral on purpose

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We went into last night’s episode having lost five candidates from The Apprentice, but so far the two solicitors — ex Slaughter and May lawyer Felipe and St Albans family solicitor Lauren — have looked relatively comfortable. How would they fare in week three?

The task began at legendary east London music hall Wilton’s, where Lord Sugar addressed the assembled candidates. First bit of excitement of the week — getting a glimpse of Lord Sugar’s rather grubby iPhone, which even in its diminished state is far better than that Amstrad crap he used to flog.

This week’s task, we’re informed, is for candidates to make videos that people want to watch — i.e. go mildly viral, like that incredible footage unearthed by Legal Cheek of Felipe’s old firm in 1981.

But it is not this video that the mainstream media have been focusing on in the run up to this evening’s episode, choosing instead to concentrate on rumours of a sex tape by “party boy” contestant Solomon Akhtar, who allegedly filmed himself with an ex-girlfriend and now optimistically fears that he could become the next Jennifer Lawrence.

The teams are mixed up, but, like last week, legal duo Lauren and Felipe find themselves together again. Immediately, things take a turn for the worse as Felipe, perhaps still a little distracted from last week’s candle task, opts to skewer his serious lawyer image and assume the role of bullied loser.

He does this by 1) coming up with a “Fat Daddy” fitness idea as the centrepiece for his team’s viral video campaign and 2) volunteering to be “Fat Daddy” .

Humiliating scenes ensue, as ‘Fat Daddy’ Felipe is put through his paces by some sergeant major-type trainer and forced to do all sorts of ungainly boxing moves while his fellow Apprentice contestants look on and laugh.

Meanwhile, Lauren — whose gym bunny look has automatically positioned her on the side of the cool kids — is laying typically low. Her main contribution has been to forget to give the video a description or title. How long this under-the-radar strategy will pay off is uncertain. But judging by a tweet from her this week, it may not be for that long…

In passing, the other team — whose lack of lawyers means we are not very interested in them — did a food-based video on humorous eating challenges.

Both videos, and their accompanying YouTube channels, go live. The ‘Fat Daddy’ video — which revolves entirely around humiliating Felipe — is painful to watch. Indeed, I would have paid not to — so if the team can put together a business plan around that …

The other team’s video is much better. But neither is deemed good enough to appear on BuzzFeed, to whose offices the teams make a brief visit.

The boardroom scene arrives. Lord Sugar fails to pronounce “Buzzfeed”. Then, seemingly impressed by Felipe’s willingness to sacrifice all self-respect on the altar of reality TV, he delivers the best line of the night: “It’s always nice to see a lawyer tortured”. Twitter goes wild.

Thanks Alan, thanks a bunch. At least lawyers don’t make their money by selling poor quality electric products and mismanaging the finances of Tottenham Hotspur. But such is Sugar’s delight at his gag that you know that Felipe is going to be safe whatever happens. Indeed, amid the warm boardroom glow you get the feeling that tonight isn’t the night that any lawyer will be chucked out into the cold. Yes Lauren will be safe too.

So even when the figures confirm that Felipe and Lauren’s team have lost, and the whole task was Felipe’s idea, and Lauren basically contributed nothing again, you know they’ll be OK. What’s more, they’re sticking together: when Lauren is being blamed for the lack of synopsis, Felipe comes to her rescue and redirects the blame to Sarah. It’s very heart-warming.

Loathe to go up against this formidable twosome, team leader Ella-Jade picks the hapless Sarah and Steven for the final Sugar showdown — and all three get fired. Ha!