Junior solicitor releases rap album about how much he hated his training contract at top City firm

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‘Square Meal, Square Mile’ details solicitor’s unhappiness during TC at top 10 City outfit.


A rookie solicitor who says he trained at a leading global law firm based in the City of London has made a rap album about how much he hated the experience.

The album, entitled ‘Square Meal, Square Mile’, has been released under the pseudonym “Mr Kelly”. However, the solicitor’s attempts at anonymity risk being compromised by the fact that he makes no attempt to hide his appearance in the video of one of the tracks that has been placed on YouTube (embedded below), or the promotional photos which he has released (one of which is above).

Having listened to the album — which is available in full hereLegal Cheek contacted Mr Kelly and attempted to find out more information about him. He told us:

“I was a trainee in a top 10 global firm, one of the largest in world. My training contract was from 2009 to 2011. I’m wary about telling you the name in case they kick up a fuss (the album is about not enjoying being a trainee). I now work as a lawyer in the public sector in London.”

‘Square Meal, Square Mile’ charts the typical day of a City trainee, beginning with opener ‘It Never Stops’, and proceeding with tracks including ‘Mid-Morning Matters’, the lunchtime-themed lead track ‘Square Meal, Square Mile’, before rounding off with ‘Letting My Heir Down’. It also considers other issues of interest to City lawyers, such as class and work-life balance.

Listeners quickly grasp that Mr Kelly really didn’t enjoy his training contract. For example, in the soulful ‘Managing Expectations’ he raps:

“Now I’m mourning in the morning, grieving in the evening about the current life I’m leading…Need some medicine to correct it, need something stronger to forget it.”

Mr Kelly’s website explains that he was driven to start rapping by his dislike of his job, with the resultant frustration he felt “needing a creative vent”. It also contains further clips of his previous spoken word performances.

Listen to ‘Square Meal, Square Mile’ in full below:

Recognise Mr Kelly? If so, please get in touch, either by leaving a comment below or by emailing We won’t publish Mr Kelly’s real name, but it would be interesting to find out which firm he used to work for.


Not Amused

Well I thought that was quite good (but then what do I know …)

The focus on class is unfortunate. It’s unfortunate because it’s silly and almost certainly wrong. It’s upsetting if any young people from disadvantaged backgrounds or who were (as I was) born into a poor family get the impression that there is some sort of ineffable or magical or over riding thing called “class” which will prevent them succeeding (in law or in anything else).

He’s just saying he didn’t like his TC, which is perfectly valid. I’m sure I wouldn’t have liked a TC, but that has nothing to do with my class.

It’s also unfortunate to say “murking class” while not fully pronouncing your ‘g’ sounds. Because it sounds like merkin class.


Niteowl Attorney

Middle class?

I thought over there you had two classes: Elysium Class, and Everyone Else Class.

Then again, you do have a barrister “profession” that allows anyone from the right class into it’s ranks as an honorary barrister (such as your HRH Heir To The Throne – Middle Temple, I believe?).

This means that you have bigger issues that Kelly’s rap let’s on about. Your profession there (at least the barrister branch) is the laughing stock of the world’s lawyers. Does Uganda, or China even allow someone to assume a professional title like that in their respective legal professions?

I doubt they do.


ace frehly

Fave bit is when he has a sip of his pint while still nodding to the music. Masterly.


Jasper Van Der Merwe

Stick to the day job, Mr Kelly



I went to college with “Mr Kelly” and have known him for years. He isn’t upper class and his comments on class relate to the fact that it is so prevalent in the sector he now works in and have never been of importance until this point. He’s a great bloke and has always been musically talented






Top bantz



What a top guy. I am an aspiring barrister who also loves to rap and has a talent for rap.. I find separating the two hard, ie it’s not very good for successful rappers to be rapping about the law & it’s also not good for prospective barristers to have an interest in rapping… This dude has created a great balance! Well done sir, inspirational.


Not Amused

“it’s also not good for prospective barristers to have an interest in rapping… ”

Honestly it is, I promise. Firstly what you do in your own time is no one’s business as long as it’s legal and not a breach of the Code. Secondly the Bar is actually incredibly tolerant place where being get to be a different and diverse (and let’s face it eccentric) as they like. Thirdly in my view anything to do with tone and rhythm and public speaking is good for you – I’ve relied on all sorts of oratorical styles and rap isn’t obviously bad (I’d leave off the swearing unless you are silk mind …)



Well done Mr Kelly, its great to see people with analytical minds flourish in arts. The combination of law and rap is hard. This is for a couple of reasons, namely the market for this kind of music is almost non existent as there are not so many receivers for this kind of combination as for pop, or hip hop for example. On the other hand, if one is talented- like Mr Kelly (diamond in the rough I would say honestly), the narrow avenue of that kind of market may grow and brick itself to success. It is always great to see innovation and feel a fresh breeze, Mr Kelly provides both without a doubt. Also Mr Kelly, do not get discouraged by criticism from the law industry, at the end of the day they do not know what they are talking about, also their nature is to find mistakes, point them out and correct them as they strive for perfection. Keep on going Mr Kelly, we are waiting to see more and better.



Is Not Amused a real person?


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