Category Archives: Auntie Em

ADVICE: ‘My Writer Husband Is Demanding That I Do a Justine Thornton’

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Dear Auntie Em,

Since the Labour Party conference earlier this month, my husband has been demanding that I "tidy myself up".

He seems to have been heavily influenced by the recent transformation of 39 Essex Street barrister Justine Thornton (Ed Miliband's wife) and is very keen for me to live up to what he terms my "first-lady potential".

Like Ms Thornton, I'm a successful barrister at a leading London chambers and the main breadwinner in my household; my husband is a "writer and artist" who "works" from home.

In the past, when we have gone out in the evenings or at the weekend, my husband has been happy for me to wear casual clothes. But now he is demanding that I don a red dress he's purchased (with my money) of a similar style to which Ms Thornton apparently wore at the Labour Party conference.

In addition, he has made a series of requests in relation to my hair, my weight, my make-up and "the way I hold myself in public".

It doesn't seem fair, somehow.

I'd be grateful for your advice.

Kind regards,

Helen

My advice to Helen, delivered via the Auntie Em alter ego that remains foisted upon me, is below...

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How To Face Down Dirty Tactics During a Vac Scheme

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Over the weekend, 'The Budding Lawyer' wrote of the dirty tactics he had fallen victim to during his recent vac scheme. Here’s the gist of what happened:

The Budding Lawyer tells a fellow vac-schemer that he finds the trainee he has been assigned to "boring".

Later, during a schmooze and drinks session, The Budding Lawyer tells another trainee that he’s had "a really good time" with the "boring" trainee.

The previously confided-in fellow vac-schemer over hears this, wanders over, and says: "That's a lie. He said she was boring!".

My advice, delivered through the alter ego of 'Auntie Em' which has been foisted upon me, is below...

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‘Does Grindr Count As An Extra-Curricular Activity?’

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The other day, desperate for something memorable to put in the gaping 'outside interests' section of his training contract application form, law student @MoykeG tweeted: "Does Grindr count as an extra-curricular activity?"

With the TC application deadline upon us today, Auntie Em (aka Emily Jupp) advises:

Dear Moyke,

I have asked some friends about this Grindr thing, and, as I understand it, it's an application that allows wallflowers like yourself to meet other retiring types without the awkwardness of having to go through pub mating rituals...

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ADVICE: ‘Could An Artistic Legal CV Help Me To Stand Out From The Crowd?’

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Dear Auntie Em,

This post on The Student Room asking if legal CVs could be creative and artistic has got me thinking...

As an admirer of the artistic flair that you demonstrate for The Independent, but also of the hard-headed temperament that informs your Legal Cheek contributions, I feel you're well positioned to advise on this question.

I'd love to jazz up my CV a bit and I love art just as much as I love law. Plus, I think an artistic CV could help me stand out from the crowd in the hunt for a training contract. But some part of me feels that combining the two could be wrong. Help!

Kind regards,

Zoe

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‘I’m Worried I Might Lose The Lucrative Part-Time Office Manager Job That Has Kept Me Afloat Through Law School’

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Dear Auntie Em,

To date, I have just about made ends meet at law school thanks to a lucrative part-time office manager role I have been fortunate enough to hold, but now it looks like I might lose this job and I am extremely worried.

I was in such a fluster the other day, trying to think of ways I could save money and what not, that when the lady in Pret asked me if I wanted to take away my food or eat in, I said “take away” – and then, still in such a fluster, I ate in.

It’s a terrible breach of a lawyer’s ethical duties, I know. But how else can I reduce my expenditure other than through tactics such as these?

Kind regards,

Philippa

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Can One Fart in The Ladies at Work? Auntie Em Advises…

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Dear Auntie Em,

This one is a little bit embarrassing, I'm afraid. Okay, so let's get straight to the point.

I have a slight issue with trapped wind that is affecting me at work. My question is: how acceptable is it to relieve myself of the wind in the ladies at work? You see, I'm uncomfortable with the idea of "farting it out" in a toilet cubicle, as my boyfriend has urged me to do. What if someone heard?

In fact, to be brutally honest with you, Em, I have tried this method and a woman from the property team who had seen me enter the cubicle must have heard me fart very loudly.

I immediately kicked the cubicle door twice to make it sound like the noise I had emitted was just one of a series of unexplainable bangs. But who am I kidding? The woman must have known.

Certainly, she appeared to be looking at me very strangely when I exited the cubicle.

Help!

Anna

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‘I WANT TO NET A STUNNER, 25, TOO!’ Auntie Em Advises…

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Dear Auntie Em,

I read with great interest your piece dated 6 February, 'Barrister, 40: How I Netted Stunner, 25'.

As it happens, I'm 40 myself, a barrister, and, since the breakdown of my relationship two years ago, single.

Despite re-reading the aforementioned article a number of times, I'm still not clear how the barrister involved, David Wilman (pictured), netted his stunner, 25.

Could you provide me with some advice?

Thank you in advance,

Patricia

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