How To Face Down Dirty Tactics During a Vac Scheme

By Emily Jupp on

Over the weekend, ‘The Budding Lawyer’ wrote of the dirty tactics he had fallen victim to during his recent vac scheme. Here’s the gist of what happened:

The Budding Lawyer tells a fellow vac-schemer that he finds the trainee he has been assigned to “boring”.

Later, during a schmooze and drinks session, The Budding Lawyer tells another trainee that he’s had “a really good time” with the “boring” trainee.

The previously confided-in fellow vac-schemer over hears this, wanders over, and says: “That’s a lie. He said she was boring!”.

My advice, delivered through the alter ego of ‘Auntie Em’ which has been foisted upon me, is below…

Dear The Budding Lawyer,

Dude, you need to toughen up, plan strategically, think cynically and view everyone as a potential threat. In other words, start acting like a lawyer.

Your fellow vac schemers are exactly that – schemers – cunningly planning your downfall. Haven’t you read BabyBarista? Needless to say, the same applies in solicitor world and indeed all walks of life.

It was naive to open up to someone you didn’t know. But, then, he played his hand badly by wasting his intelligence on a mere trainee, who is unlikely to pass your comments on to anyone of real importance. Your vac scheme pal has marked himself out as your enemy too early to be able to truly screw you over and, quite rightly, you won’t trust him again. Such an amateur!

Now, listen carefully, Innocent One, because I like nice people like you to do well. Here’s the trick: sometimes nice people have to act like nasty people to get ahead.

So, even if you become great friends with your fellow schemers, you must NEVER trust them completely. Diligence, meticulousness, enthusiasm: the attributes on which trainees are selected all have their evil flip-sides.

Be mindful of that, young padawan, and be prepared to sabotage them before they screw you.

All the best!

Auntie Em


Got a problem? Contact Auntie Em on Twitter.