With the cost of the LPC and BPTC approaching the eye-watering respective sums of £15,000 and £18,000, it is not unreasonable — writes a cash-strapped anonymous future lawyer — to consider how else that money could be spent
Here are six suggestions to show what you could be missing out on…
1. A Porsche
At the age of 21, who hasn’t dreamt of owning their own Porsche? At just under £16,000 you could sacrifice your law school deposit, pay your insurance and drive around to your heart’s content.
2. A hot air balloon
If you’d prefer to avoid the traffic and make your own roads, why not fork out for a hot air balloon — with leading second hand models available for a mere £16,500? Find yourself a field, light up your burner and float away.
3. A night in David Beckham’s ‘stunning £15,000-a-night Parisian hotel suite’
If it’s good enough for Golden Balls, surely it’s good enough for any aspiring solicitor or barrister. At £14,600 per night the Imperial Suite in Paris’ magnificent Le Bristol hotel is a sure-fire way to blow those fees in one foul swoop. Just imagine reading those civil litigation textbooks in this 3,500 square foot suite.
4. The most expensive cupcake in the world
Perhaps the most ridiculous way to spend your fees would be on this £16,000 cupcake. I’d have hoped that it was made of solid gold for that money. But by buying it you could be remembered forever as the law graduate who dropped out of bar school to eat cake.
5. A starter yacht
Yachts are all the rage for the business moguls of the day. You’re no Roman Abramovich but why not sail around in a 26 foot Beneteau? With four berths and a fitted kitchen, you could live a nomadic existence with no concerns but for the direction of her sails.
6. An island
Finally, you could buy an island. Run away, live a nomadic existence with giant tortoises, and recreate the weird stuff that happened in TV programme Lost. OK, so islands tend to cost more than £18,000. But this Seychelles beauty was purchased for a mere £8,000 — albeit in 1962. So set aside 8K and with the remaining £10,000 I recommend building a time machine. It’s possible that it may not work, of course, but nor are there guarantees of success for jobless graduates of legal vocational courses.
Now, where did I put my debit card…