The world seen through the eyes of the wannabe lawyer
Conventional meaning: A bitter substance found in coffee, tea and soft drinks.
Law student meaning: A magical drug on which you depend to write essays at 2am — and, having imbibed it in all its forms, eventually see sounds.
2. Reading list
Conventional meaning: A short, pre-selected list of textbooks, journals and academic papers that will assist in the learning process.
Law student meaning: Something that stretches to at least 14 pages, costs you the best part of £3,000 and doesn’t necessarily assist in the learning process.
Conventional meaning: A brief record of points or ideas written down as an aid to memory.
Law student meaning: Scrawling that, despite lasting for only the hour duration of a contract lecture, resembles the Magna Carta.
Conventional meaning: A colour produced by mixing red, yellow, and blue.
Law student meaning: The most mentally-scarring case you will ever read.
5. Commercial awareness
Conventional meaning: General knowledge of what’s happening in the business world.
Law student meaning: A mystical concept which no one can define but every employer insists is crucial to working for them.
Conventional meaning: A place in south London filled with trainee accountants.
Law student meaning: The spiritual home of reasonable men on omnibuses.
7. Ginger beer
Conventional meaning: A refreshing beverage.
Law student meaning: A drink which has a high chance of containing a decomposed snail.
Conventional meaning: An American name for a holiday.
Law student meaning: The prelude to the word “scheme” — in other words, the Hunger Games.
Conventional meaning: An academic rank conferred by a university after examination or after completion of a course.
Law student meaning: A fairly useless pre-requisite for the professional qualification you actually need.
Conventional meaning: Belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.
Law student meaning: Something to do with equity that you desperately hope to, one day, be able to understand.
11. Called to the bar
Conventional meaning: A reminder from a barman that your drink has been poured and is awaiting collection.
Law student meaning: A short ceremony where you get to wear a wig for the first and last time.
Conventional meaning: Having sound judgement; fair and sensible.
Law student meaning: An ever-evolving concept which doesn’t really mean anything but allows judges to do whatever they feel like.
Conventional meaning: Kindness, thoughtfulness.
Law student meaning: Must be sufficient but need not be adequate … wait, what?
14. Master of the Rolls
Conventional meaning: An exceptional baker.
Law student meaning: Lord Dyson (who we hope is also an exceptional baker).