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City law firm trainee pukes on senior colleagues at awards ceremony

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Stephenson Harwood rookie “extremely embarrassed” after vomiting on three associates

puking

A leading City law firm has pledged to teach its trainees to drink more responsibly after one reportedly got so wasted at an awards ceremony that she threw up all over three associates also attending the bash.

The embarrassing incident apparently happened while the trophies were being handed out at the recent Law Society Excellence Awards at the Hilton Hotel on Park Lane in central London.

Shortly after, it has been claimed that an ambulance had to be called for the Stephenson Harwood rookie.

After gossip about the mishap reached legal message board RollOnFriday, Stephenson Harwood — which, for the record, finished empty handed at the awards — issued this statement:

Our trainee is understandably extremely embarrassed and regrets drinking too much. She’s very grateful to her colleagues for being so forgiving. We spend considerable time teaching our trainees the essentials of law and wider business skills but clearly we need to emphasise more the skill of knowing when you’ve had one too many glasses of bubbly. It’s a lesson many of us learned the hard way!

Happily for the trainee in question — who has not been named — Stephenson Harwood has a pretty good retention rate, hanging onto 90% of its latest batch of new qualifiers. And judging by the tone of the firm’s statement, it looks like forgiveness may be a possibility.

Update: 8:56am — A witness who says she looked after the trainee denies that she was sick on anyone else.

27 Comments

Not Amused

I think it is extremely understanding and kind of Stephenson Harwood to deal with the incident this way. It is an enormous credit to the firm.

(95)(3)

Anonymous

Oh yeah? How’s the hangover?

(11)(2)

Anonymous

I would feel way warmer towards NA if I thought they could possibly make such a human error as this.

(5)(0)

Anonymous

1 vom = 0 hangover

(5)(0)

Anonymous

They’re saying this publicly – would be interesting to know whether she’s taken on at the end of her TC…

(10)(0)

Anonymous

Totally agree.

(1)(0)

mildly amused

Its a decent story for the girl in the future. Although for now she will be embarrassed. It’s not career ending.

(13)(0)

Anonymous

Rumour has it that the ambulance took her straight to the top floor of 10 Upper Bank Street to have her stomach pumped.

(8)(3)

Guru nana

Evil misogynists are responsible for this.

(4)(4)

Anonymous

PROUDMAN and LYDIA from ROF are mortified that a woman such as this could threaten feminism after all their hard work.

(13)(4)

Anonymous

I think if they want to be kind they should keep her on after her TC is over, but if you’re 21 and haven’t yet learned how to drink in public, you shouldn’t be working as a lawyer.

(4)(8)

MalcolmX'sMum

booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

(0)(0)

Guru nana

I had trouble drinking for a while until a kindly fellow associate showed me what to do.

1) get drink
2) extend elbow outward level to around nipple height
3) bring hand holding the drink upward toward the face
4) open mouth (not too wide, not too little)
5) do not protrude tongue or gnash teeth
6) continue to raise hand with drink and now pivot wrist in an anti-clockwise direction.
7) ensure mouth is in position to capture the beverage
8) savour taste
9) swallow
10) slowly pivot wrist back in a clockwise motion (never keep the pivot going in the anticlockwise direction as you’ll spill it on yourself).
11) turn to person nearby and say: ‘Yummy. That was nice.’
12) continue until all of the drink is consumed.

You see, previously I was missing out steps 3, 5 and 11 and this caused all kinds of trouble. So, don’t worry SH trainee, you’ll get the hang of it. I did and now I’m the managing partner of XXXXXXXX & XXXXXXXXX.

(9)(5)

alex in trouble still

Even covered in vom, she remained stunning.

(6)(2)

All aboard the bantah train

Top bants from the trainee chick – clearly skills learned as member of the uni netball team.

Ah the amounts of netball poon I pulled in my days…

(11)(2)

Anonymous

Wanking over the netball team facebook photos doesn’t count.

(11)(2)

Bantah train conductor

Hey, the fact that you’ve done it doesn’t mean we all did.

(4)(2)

geezer above me has no bantah

I am sure those were stunning netball photos you yanked one over.

(5)(3)

Thumper

Sez the fapper with hairy palms. Didn’t granny tell you too much spanking the monkey will make you blind?

thumpers mum

Thumper, stop humping your mattress. Dad told me you cut a hole in it. We also need to talk about THOSE magazines I found in your room.

Hung Dong Wang

Sure mate, just gimme a minute so I can get off your mum first.

Anonymous

That would be thumper fucking thumper’s grandmother. You failed to think it through logically when resorting to a bog standard ‘your mum’ comment.

You thick cunt.

Trojan Rawdog

The rage is powerful with this one. U mad bro?

Anonymous

Trojan Rawdog, stop using the same name on here as you do on grindr

(3)(0)

Trojan Rawdog

you wanna meet up bro? i need a butt boy

(2)(1)

Anonymous

BPP, 12pm Monday. Bring a helmet.

(3)(0)

Sheikh Rahtul Ahnrol

Of the meat variety?

(1)(1)

Comments are closed.