The 30 most amusing rejected parliamentary petitions

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By Katie King on

These would have made amazing laws


This week, a new petition — calling for the Meningitis B vaccine to be given to all children — overtook the infamous ban Donald Trump from the UK venture as the petition with the most signatures.

But, lying deep in the corner of parliament’s website is a world of rejected petitions, nearly 2,500 of them. And some of them are great.

We count down our 30 favourite petition rejects.

30. Make David Bowie “Heroes” new national anthem


Unfortunately MPs don’t seem to like David Bowie

29. Make an English national anthem and make it “Slam” by Pendulum

Or Pendulum for that matter…

28. World-Peace


27. Adjust all MP’s wages to the minimum wage


Nice try

26. Bring back shirley the canley lollipop lady (Wolf road)


25. Stop the enforcement of formal dress code at work

Would love it if the Magic Circle started donning tracksuits and snapbacks

24. Mark Byrne to London with whatsap boys on his wife’s Bday (she’s going the spa)

Poor Mark

23. Jeremy Hunter to resign as health Secretary


Jeremy Hunter?

22. Stop discrimination against tall people

Being tall is not a choice!

21. Make referees explain themselves after a football game

Post-game interviews should be a thing

20. Stop Cameron and his party from killing the UK, remove them from power!


This would have made an interest parliamentary debate

19. Thoroughly ignore Donald Trump

Donald Trump should be thoroughly ignored


140 characters or nothing

17. Make the reading of the complete Harry Potter series compulsory by the age of 16

Compulsory Harry Potter for all

16. Make Cadbury Freddo’s 10 pence again



15. Ban Piers Morgan from Twitter

And TV and radio

14. Nandos to deliver all orders Nationwide across the United Kingdom

Come on Nandos…

13. Stop naming gales in the UK — it’s silly


It is a bit silly

12. Let Jade go home early on Christmas Eve

She deserves it

11. Give Sean his day off

And so does Sean

10. Ask Nestle to make an all orange Smarties tube

Seems like a great idea to us

9. Make it illegal for women to wear heels in an exam hall to stop distraction

Clip clop

8. Stop using Wales as a unit of measurement


Wales is not a unit of measurement!

7. Stop people starting petitions for no real reason

Here, here…

6. Send David Cameron to fight the Daesh

A reasonable request

5. Make a fangirl school

Round up all fan girls and put them in their own school

4. Invite Donald Trump to the UK so we can laugh at him in person


Poor Donald

3. Identify “Ginger” as an ethnicity on all official government documentation

“Align with our red headed brothers and sisters”

2. Reconsider the standing of fursuits as being porn items

Poor fursuits, they mean no harm

1. Make Ann Widdecombe Primeminster with immediate effect


Do it, do it, do it!