Meet The ‘UK’s Top Barrister’…

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The website seems like a spoof.

But Michael Wolkind QC’s chambers, 2 Bedford Row, have confirmed (with a weary sigh) that it’s real…‘s highlights include:

  • A further boast, in addition to the “UK’s top barrister” claim, that Wolkind is “widely recognised as the UK’s top criminal trial barrister and top criminal appeals barrister”.
  • A series of gushing client testimonials, stating, amongst other things uttered in the midst of relief at avoiding jail: “You are the most talented man I have ever met…you have given me my life back…you are awesome” and “What can I say, you are the Greatest.”
  • A proudly featured quote about Wolfkind from a member of a notorious football hooligan group. “What was really nice was to see Michael Wolkind absolutely smash the police to bits,” writes Chelsea headhunter Jason Marriner.
  • A surreal claim that Wolkind saved Barnet FC from relegation on the last day of the 2012 season (which, in fairness to the “UK’s top barrister”, seems to be an attempt to show that, contrary to the evidence elsewhere on the site, he doesn’t take himself too seriously after all).

Now, people may have been able to get away with creating online shrines to themselves in the pre-social media age, but subject this sort of material to the glare of Twitter and it doesn’t stand up so well.

Which is exactly what happened a couple of months ago when an account called ‘@mwolkindqc’ appeared, drawing the attention of the Twittersphere to

The account – which apparently boasted a remarkable 20,700 followers before it had even issued a single tweet – has since disappeared.

When contacted by Legal Cheek yesterday, Michael Wolkind QC said: “I certainly can not confirm I was ever the owner of that account,” before quipping: “Please cancel my subscription to Legal Chicks with immediate effect.”

Fortunately for Wolkind fans, Facebook offers a alternative way to keep up with the “UK’s top barrister”.



I should like to make clear that any tweets which may be taken to read anything less than total admiration for Michael Wolkind QC are *probably the result of my account being hacked. He is a top geezer and no mistake.



Not a Barrister

Oh my! I love it. That’s the problem with being English, any hint of self promotion and we get all prudish. I think I may start my own website to promote myself.


Uncle Solicitor

In the common parlance of ordinary folk, including ordinary folk in the profession, the word ‘top’ has no special meaning other than ‘sound’, ‘good’, or even ‘recommended’. Our great nation is famous as being obsessed with the culture of ‘top’ – one always has a relative recommend a ‘top’ doctor, or mention that some lawyer is a ‘top’ lawyer. Usually all this means is that the person using the expression actually knows or knows through another person the practitioner concerned. In this context, perhaps Mr Wolkind is a ‘top’ barrister, and indeed there may be other reasons he is ‘top’.

And don’t forget, that baby if you are the bottom, then I am the top.


John_Lewis_Scammer [non-practicing barrister]

Subtle homoeroticism or indeed homophobia (quite hard to tell) is a good a addition to any schtick. Take note Occupy



I just love the jokes* on the About Me page ( If only he wasn’t busy being the UK’s top barrister, he could have been the UK’s top comedian!

* dad jokes



His chambers pages also includes:

“Michael Wolkind has one son, two daughters, three dogs, and four friends, (please note that three of the friends are his dogs). Many years ago he had a goldfish, they still stay in touch by email.

Michael can speak several different words of Danish and is also a qualified practitioner of both Reiki and Indian Head Massage, (these services are not available to Legal Aid clients.)”



Simon Hersh

yes, everyone should be conventional and dull, especially lawyers


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