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A solution to the Band Aid lyrics controversy: apply them to lawyers

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As the ‘Do they know it’s Christmas’ single is criticised for its “cultural ignorance”, WaitroseLaw wonders if its message would be better-suited to stressed-out lawyers

first-world-problems

Band Aid 30: the lawyer parody version

It’s Christmas time
But there’s no need to slacken off.
At Christmas time
It’s time for staff to toughen up.
And from our corner office
We can spread chaos and fear.
Work your fingers to the bone
At Christmas time.

(Drums come in)

We really don’t care
About your little ones.
At Christmas time, it’s hard,
But while we’re on the black run
There’s a world inside the office
And it’s a world of dread and fright.
Where the meter’s always running
And the client’s always right.
And the Christmas party’s cancelled
‘Cause last year there was a fight.
Well, the partners really have screwed you tonight.

(Chorus)
Time re-cor-ding
You should know it’s billing time
Time re-cor-ding
You won’t know it’s Christmas time at all.

(Middle eight)
And there won’t be blow in El Vino’s
This Christmas time.
You’ll have to close that deal on Christmas Eve.
No Christmas bonus, mate
But the PEP’s looking great.
You won’t know it’s Christmas time at all.

(Chorus)
Time re-cor-ding
You should know it’s billing time
Time re-cor-ding
You should know it’s billing time again

(BRIDGE)
(Here’s to you) hit your targets, everyone
(Here’s to us) heading off for winter sun
You won’t know it’s Christmas time at all.

Time re-cor-ding
Let them know it’s billing time

(Repeat til fade)

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