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Fed up with the grind at the English bar? Perhaps this set of Kiwi jokers appeals…

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Pastafarians preferred, says an Auckland barrister in desperate bid to replace the last chap, who never fit in owing to odd film tastes

edenlead

Being cooped up in chambers at the other end of the world has clearly taken its toll on three barristers — although, being Kiwis, they probably don’t see it as the other end of the world.

One is leaving Auckland set Eden Chambers and the advertisements (see in full below) for his replacement says much about the two remaining characters.

First, Ray Parmenter, a land law litigation specialist called to the bar in 1978, took out an advertisement in Law News, the weekly newspaper for members of the Auckland District Law Society.

He hints that the last 15 years have been something of a trial for the set as the departing barrister just didn’t fit in. Indeed, his main crimes seem to be never having watched US telly sensation Game of Thrones and tackling the Quentin Tarantino 2003-04 film epic Kill Bill duology the wrong way round.

Parmenter goes on to describe his remaining chambers-mate, William McCartney, as a “high functioning Aspergers”, before writing himself off as being “a bit inflexible” — something to do with dishwasher etiquette.

He finishes with a nod to discrimination law, indicating that ideally applicants will be keen Pastafarians (for the uninitiated, that’s a reference to adherents of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and a member is pictured below.)

pastifarian

Not to be outdone, McCartney took out a sister advert pleading — perhaps understandably — not to be “left alone” with Parmenter.

Anyone currently scrabbling around London’s Inns of Court cursing tumbling legal aid rates might like to chance an arm. And to give them a head start, Legal Cheek lists the main beliefs of that Spag Monster Church:

Pirates are pretty crucial. According to the church’s website, “the original Pastafarians, were peaceful explorers and it was due to Christian misinformation that they have an image of outcast criminals today”.

A keen fondness for beer.

All Fridays are religious holidays.

Pastafarians “do not take ourselves too seriously”.

They embrace contradictions — “though in that we are hardly unique”.

Read the advert in full below:

advert

h/t @vernontava

1 Comment

Sandrat

The perks of being self employed eh

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