Lawyers at Gloucester County Court have toilet privileges withdrawn over ‘continued misuse’

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Taking the piss


Management at Gloucester and Cheltenham County Court and Family Court have been forced to close the toilets in their advocates’ lounge — due to what they describe in an official notice as “continued misuse”.

A sign (pictured above) has appeared recently on the toilet door informing lawyers that they can no longer be trusted to use the facilities.

The notice — from the court’s delivery manager, Mrs L. Overbury — directs lawyers to use the public toilets in the court’s foyer from now on.

A crafty cigarette, a financially-strapped pupil using it as a bedsit, or even a dirty protest over impending legal aid cuts, Legal Cheek can only speculate as to what “continued misuse” refers to…



Cutting-edge legal journalism.


Salacious Gossip

I heard advocates have had to travel to London to crap in Clifford Chance’s pool as a result. True story.


Ass-Eater LJ

I have heard whispers through the grapevine that this horrific disaster has occurred because advocates at the Gloucester and Cheltenham County Court and Family Court kept on travelling to Clifford Chance solely for the purpose of relieving themselves in the pool. Clifford Chance partners became understandably enraged at this (as such an activity is usually restricted to partner-level only) they travelled to Manchester to personally unleash a fecal barrage into the toilets of the advocates’ lounge, the likes of which had never been seen before.
This senseless act of revenge could easily have been avoided, but such is life in the world of contemporary legal practice.


Dr Bonham

We already have a Rimer LJ so your name isn’t far off the mark.


Ass-Eater LJ

I’ll have you know that Ass-Eater is a noble occupational surname with a long and proud history, dating back further than Taylor, Clark, Hunter, Thatcher and Palmer. More than that, it is a title that is earned. One is born an Ass-Eater, but one must also strive hard to uphold the values and traditions that have kept the Ass-Eaters in power for centuries since my loquacious ancestor the Rt. Hon. Fitzgerald Ass-Eater QC.
I couldn’t give two shits what some jumped-up little pretender does with his own anal surname, much less that it happens to evoke my own.



It’s probably because advocates kept crying in there.



[Please consider this comment a placeholder until the inevitable comments relating this mundane story to Charlotte Proudman and/or Alan Blacker]


Obligatory Proudman Comment

I appreciate that this is probably horrendously politically incorrect but that picture of a toilet door is stunning!!

It definitely wins the prize for best toilet door picture I have ever seen.



This toilet is actually Dr. The Rt. Hon Lord Harley of Counsel’s Privy Arbital Court…. That or the headquarters for JAFLAS.



Maybe due to a snort or two of the white stuff?



Sherbert dib dab?


Balderdash Esq.

For god sake this is ridiculous; if hard working lawyers cannot defecate on the floor to save themselves precious seconds making the journey to the toilet bowl then society has lost its way.



I suspect the toilets were closed because it was decided that allowing the lawyers time to have a shit in a toilet was unproductive when they could simply do it on the floor as they walk between hearings.


Lord Harley of Council, Fifteenh Earl Blacker, Inventor of the Hedgehog, Philanthropist, Genius, 13in cock (verified), Saviour of Humanity and the LAW, LLB, LLM, MPhil, MBA, DaFUQ, UCnt, ROFL

Blimey, that must have been when I had the shytes that one time when I came by to show what a Mozart of the courtroom I am.

Must have been that ghastly curry I had… *sharts his pants* Here I go again!


Kuzka's Mother



Rupert Briggs

Lord Harley,
What’s DaFUQ ?


Regular Poster

You should see the gents’ lavs in the robing room at Reading Crown Court-the graffiti is worthy of a 1980s school bog.

An insider at the court tells me that RCC will be writing to all Chambers with counsel who appear there regularly requesting handwriting samples to identify the culprits.

Credit will be given for guilty pleas at the earliest opportunity.


Sheikh Rahtul Ahnrol

I see that incontinence pant dispenser is now in robing room!

Someone making money out of this!


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