#EpicGrayl – The Sequel: Just when you thought it was safe to be governed again…. here’s Grayling

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By Will Buckley on

Lawyers jittery as to just how much power former Justice Sec will have by week’s end. We look at the frankly terrifying runners and riders


The extent of the terror about to be unleashed was neatly summed up by a Twitter poll organised by One Crown Office Row barrister Adam Wagner.

Asked ‘So, Twitter where would you most like Chris Grayling to be in Theresa May’s government’, the 625 respondents voted as follows:

3% Home Secretary
3% Minister for Brexit
2% Back at the MOJ

Sadly there is unlikely to be a minister for ARGGHHHHHHHHH! in ever-sensible Theresa May’s cabinet which leaves the following options.

Chancellor of the Exchequer

Eeek. This is the kind of appointment to make even the normally unflappable Mark Carney shudder. Imagine a Grayling budget? Imagine him standing outside Number 11 holding up a red suitcase? Imagine watching him struggle to do his four times table.

Yet. This is the tip of Simon Myerson QC.

Is she that cynical? Possibly.

And also of media lawyer David Allen Green.

Deputy leader

While having an idiot for a neighbour might reflect well on you, selecting one to be your sidekick tends to cast doubts on your judgment (see George HW Bush and James Danforth ‘Dan’ Quayle).

To have a man whose political career began, rather than ended, in failure is so spectacularly insane (May: “Can I introduce you to my deputy?” Everyone else: “Fuck, really.”) that no one has even suggested it on the lunatic asylum that is Twitter. However, this is the Daily Star’s tip. Frankly, that bloke with a chain of pubs has more chance.

Cabinet Minister for Brexit

Imagine one of the most important negotiations in our island’s history being led by a man who opposed the Human Rights Act because it “supported the rights of the few over the rights of the many”.

As barrister Max Hardy tweeted

Indeed. The Grayling is more than capable of negotiating us out of Europe and straight into the middle of the Dark Ages. The Caveman Cometh.

Little wonder, Sean Jones QC tweeted

Home Secretary

Yikes. Imagine the Epic Grayls with Grayling in charge of law ‘n’ order

As UEA lecturer Paul Bernal tweeted

However, the great advantage of Grayling being Home Secretary is that before May the sacking of the Home Secretary was an almost annual event. Might May be paying off her obligation by promoting Grayling to the job from which she can most readily sack him?