Feature

7 types of law student you will meet in your first week of law school

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From the Amal wannabe to the guy who obviously went through clearing

Image via Instagram (@steveabbottt)

The beginning of term is officially upon us.

Lawyer hopefuls have descended on campuses across the country, creating a veritable melting pot of personalities.

So, as you make those first awkward social interactions over a beer down the SU, be sure to keep your eyes peeled for these seven types of law student.

1. The ‘I have wanted to be lawyer since I was three’ student

This girl was born commercially aware. You’ve only just met but she’s added you on LinkedIn and endorsed you for communication skills. Hellbent on landing a top training contract in the City, she works the room like a pro, quickly assessing who can help her and who will hinder her. Despite being officially at university for a matter of days, she has already entered two mooting competitions, started a new debating society and arranged a meeting with her tutor to discuss vac scheme opportunities.

2. The ‘went through clearing’ student

You can spot him a mile off, mainly because his room is full of cellophane-wrapped medicine textbooks. He doesn’t know if he wants to be solicitor or a barrister yet (he’s just discovered there’s a difference) but is keen find out more about the historic profession and those ‘funny wigs’.

3. The ‘my parents are lawyers’ student

With a QC for a father and a City law firm partner for a mother, networking starts at home for this law student. Her surname carries clout and will open doors (all by the book, of course). Despite having a genuine interest in the law, some of her fresher peers — take ‘lawyer since she was three’ girl for example — remain sceptical about her motivations to enter the profession. Either way, there’s already a pupillage or training contract with her name on it.

4. ‘Dresses like a lawyer’ guy

Looking like he’s just run through a rail at TM Lewin, this dapper dresser takes his appearance as seriously as he does his studies. It might only be a 9am ‘introduction to contract law’ seminar, but he’s got his favourite navy blue three-piece on and polished black brogues. He completes his lawyer look with a fetching leather briefcase — which contains a Sainsbury’s meal deal and a handful of law firm pens.

5. The Amal wannabe

This aspiring young lawyer wants to change the world for the better. Like Amal, she has a passion for human rights and hopes to one day follow in her idol’s footsteps and marry George Clooney become a Doughty Street Chambers barrister. Due to budget constraints, she attempts to replicate Amal’s impeccable (and rather expensive) dress sense using her ASOS student discount, with mixed results.

6. The guy who quits after a week

The life and soul of freshers’ week, this law student is the self-proclaimed Jägerbomb king. He rocks up to the introductory lectures still wearing last night’s sick-stained clothes, clutching a large coffee and nursing a monster hangover. Then, as quickly as he arrived on the scene, he’s gone again. You never find out what happened to him, but rumours circulating the law school suggest he’s now doing a marketing degree at another uni.

7. The mature student

This 40-something wannabe lawyer has already has a degree under his belt (and a whole career, for that matter). However, keen to integrate into the group, he reluctantly joins you and your friends on a night out. At about 10pm, having spent roughly 15 minutes in the nightclub, he quietly slips out and gets an Uber home. The only interactions you have with him after that are awkward “so, how are the kids?” moments when you bump into each other at the law library.

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28 Comments

Anonymous

You forgot the Ghosts – students who you meet once, then don’t attend lectures and seminars all year, returning as silent apparitions during exam season.

Anonymous

Return at exams to get the highest grade. Can’t forget that vital, infuriating detail 😂

Anonymous

you also forgot the cunts

Anonymous

To my surprise, this article is pretty accurate..

Anonymous

NEWSFLASH: Legal Cheek writes an accurate story !!

Anonymous

Looking forward to the “7 types of GDL students” and “7 types of BPTC students” articles.

Anonymous

Don’t tempt Tommy and KK – they’d love to do them with pictures of cat memes

Anonymous

My trainee is wearing an inappropriately short skirt today. How do I address this issue?

Anonymous

Skraaaaaa.

Anonymous

Have you sought advice from a Jones Day partner?

Anonymous

What is inappropriately short, in your view?

I don’t think it transverses into the public obscenity territory until pubic hairs are visible.

Anonymous

Traverse* even. Bloody auto-correct…

Anonymous

They’re called kilts, and it’s a national costume, so you cannot discriminate on this basis

Anonymous

The “tells you they haven’t studied” but has spent a considerable amount of time preparing and revising for everything student.

Anonymous

Dresses like a lawyer, but shops at TM Lewin….?

Anonymous

Agreed. Go at least with Brooks Brothers or GTFO.

Anonymous

This post has been removed because it breached Legal Cheek’s comments policy.

Anonymous

Yawn. These Buzzfeed lists are so unoriginal.

Legal Cheek Buzzword Bingo

Legal Cheek Buzzword Bingo
“Wannabe” – 5 points
“Amal Clooney” – 10 points
Crap jokes eg. “leather briefcase which contains a Sainsbury’s meal deal” – 4 points
Rip-off Buzzfeed listicle – 6 points

Anonymous

It’s verging on peak Legal Cheek

Anonymous

It just needs an Instagram hashtag to be a 100% certified Legal Cheek piece

Anonymous

I don’t fit into any of those categories, in fact I’m Sui Generis!

I’m the 24/7 readaholic, library dweller.

Anonymous

You’re actually person number 1, sorry.

Anonymous

Buzzfeed called. They want their article format back. But they said you can keep your jokes, or lack of them.

Wannabe a wannabe

Number 8: A wannabe trainee solicitor who gets rejections for a training contract and then becomes a wannabe writer at Legal Cheek, and ends up writing articles about wannabe lawyers who wannabe Amal Clooney, although he still really wannabe a lawyer himself

Anonymous

Number 9: huffy up his own arse dickhead who spends all his time on LC trying to be clever when he should be paying attention in lectures convinced that he is going to be a future Sumption/Pannick even though he’s just a deluded twat in reality

Anonymous

Hi Tom!

Anonymous

Isn’t Number 9 sort of a description of Tom again: “up his own arse … spends all his time on LC trying to be clever …”

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