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8 things you’ll only understand if you study law at the University of Essex

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The speaker of the House of Commons is a local celeb

Image via Instagram (@tom.in.southend)

With the academic year in full swing, one aspiring lawyer shares eight things you’ll only understand if you study law at the University of Essex.

1. Everyone knows about the crazy library lift

You’ll have to take the lift to the fourth floor to get to the law library. You’ll see some amazing views once you get to the top.

2. You’ll learn to just wear black clothing in Dr Richard Cornes’ lectures

The converse-wearing public law academic asks questions based on what colour clothes you are wearing; by the end of the year you learn to only wear black clothes!

3. Amazon prime is your best friend

The campus book shop never has the law books you need!

4. You read textbooks written by lecturers, so you can’t get away with skim reading

Image via the University of Essex

Andrew le Sueur (pictured) wrote the public law book, for example.

5. Lecturers love Star Wars-themed powerpoints

Each of the grounds of judicial review was given a different lego Star Wars character.

6. Sometimes legal concepts get lost in translation…

Essex has a strong international student community, many hailing from France. Sometimes there are some confused faces in lecture halls, like when a group of students confused the word ‘balaclava’ with ‘baklava’, and were picturing robbers with pastries on their heads.

7. Corporate law is seen as the devil

Essex is a university that has a reputation for being liberal and a leader in human rights law (until recently our chancellor was Shami Chakrabarti, after all).

8. The speaker of the Commons is a local celebrity

John Bercow went to our university, so he’s mentioned all the time.

Ella Richardson is a law student at the University of Essex.

Want to tell readers what it’s like studying law at your university? Get in touch.

34 Comments

Anonymous

Are you planning on doing one of these for every university that offers a law program?

I guess, in one way, you have guaranteed content and a unique revenue stream, however deplorable it is to read…

Anonymous

Please do Manchester and Liverpool!!!

Tarquan

Please do Exetah! Rah rah hah

Giles Smedley-Hythe (Chancery Pupil)

Is it true that a degree from Manchester or Liverpool
Is roughly equivalent to a finger-painting certificate from a London private nursery?

Anonymous

Oh dear… this article is going to get such a roasting since it covers the university of essex. Good job Alex.

Pascal

Slap slap slappedy slap

Legna & Lived

Not worth insulting. This is how bad the article is!

hehe, see what i did there

Welcome to Legal Cheek

9. You’re never getting a training contract.

Anonymous

10. What those gold stars on the badges of McDonalds employees mean

Anonymous

Aren’t those little pips like commendations or something? Commissar Ronald approves, etc?

Essex LLB

Fuck you dude, we are a well respected uni and I know many people who got MC TCs who came from out uni. So suck on that dickweed.

I went to Essex Uni and lived to tell the Tale...

I am one of those that got a training contract from a all service national firm in London. Sorry to burst your bubble there ‘Welcome to Legal Cheek’. Moreover, I know plenty of alumni and in fact students i studied with that are at CMS and the like.

Maybe try another university next time!

Till then, continue seething!

Essex LLB

Nice one brother, high five!!!

Anonymous

Christ – you two are almost as embarrassing as this article!

Pull the other one chaps – we all know you really mean ‘Ipswich’ not ‘London’.

I went to Essex Uni and lived to tell the Tale...

If I meant Ipswich, I would have typed Ipswich. Clearly you didn’t make it to university, as the literacy levels you display, at best, gained you an NVQ.

Needless to say, your pomp or should I say simplicity has enveloped you in this cocoon you call exclusivity. I’m sorry I infiltrated your exclusive club. I’ll remember to give a flying toss when i’m spending your exclusive club money.

You idiot

*I’m

Anonymous

Working for an “all service national firm” is infiltrating an exclusive club?

Haha! Good one.

Anonymous

MC… CMS… lol

Nice try.

Anonymous

I understand all 8 of these things and I never studied law at the University of Essex

Anonymous

It seems that “the law” doesn’t appear anywhere on this list…

Anonymous

Ammunition for Frustrated Writer

Anonymous

This smells like a Katie King article….

Anonymous

Wee smell?

The only thing Essex is known for is for its vagazzles

I can’t think of another textbook written by an Essex academic other than the OUP Public law one. It’s not even fully written by him anyway, there are two other contributing authors, both from other universities.

The reason why your students don’t like corporate law is because they don’t have a chance at getting into it. On the rare occasion that they do, they use words like “all service” and “CMS” as if they mean anything. The poor deluded souls. Using CMS as a mark of quality.

Essex isn’t a leader in HR law. It’s a leader in HR.

I went to Essex Uni and lived to tell the Tale...

Alas, you have missed the whole point. What you do with the golden ticket once you get it is up to you, the fact you have acquired the golden ticket is in itself meritorious.

Suffice to say, your mark of quality can only be inferred by the stain you leave behind.

The only thing Essex is known for is for its vagazzles

Since when did getting a law degree from a fourth rate university, that admits 83% of its applicants with an average grade of less than BBB, become a “golden ticket”?

Sources:
https://university.which.co.uk/university-of-essex-e70/law-3-years-9250-m100-1014059
https://www.thecompleteuniversityguide.co.uk/essex/

Either way, it doesn’t seem like Essex grads are doing much with their golden tickets. Shit presence in the City, law graduate salaries on par with Northumbria and Canterbury Christ Church.

https://www.economist.com/blogs/graphicdetail/2017/08/daily-chart-5 (select “Law”, and go to page 2)

Hell, I’d be embarrassed to even identify as an Essex student on this comments page. Absolute garbage university and students. So far removed from the sort of courses/unis attended by people on here that it’s comical that I’m even wasting my time talking to you.

I went to Essex Uni and lived to tell the Tale...

Shamefully, you missed the point again. Sigh! It must have been a late one for you in that troll-cave you call work.

But simply put, the golden ticket isn’t the university you attend, but the training contract secured at national London law firm and other corporate London firms. Considering you made the point how, firms such as CMS recruit those that use words such as “all service” and “CMS”, hence my remark.

The words I use on this thread are of little consequence to me, considering that I am part of the tapestry that is a corporate London law firm. The very destination you said was unreachable for poor deluded souls like us.

***TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND SIGHS***

Enjoy your anti-depressant filled ginger latte on this dull Friday morning to twit.

Essex LLB

LOL rekt

Bercow is my homeboy

Puerile comments.

Quite a few from my year went on to obtain training contracts and are working for good firms both nationally and internationally. I’m General Counsel for a leading national company and got here via a 2.1 from Essex, a pass on my LPC and a stint in regional private practice.

I look back on my years at Essex quite fondly. The walk of shame from the towers to the lecture halls, the absolutely dire food from the fast food place next to the old law block and the Land Law lecturer who was an amazing after dinner speaker

As for the lifts, they really have to be seen to be believed. I’m surprised no one has died from the excitement.

Essex LLB

Nice one Essex brother. Slap those haters down!!

RD

None of that looks familiar to me. Mind you, it’s been a while. Does the library still have the paternoster? And does Geoff Gilbert still take the mickey out of brummies? Sheldon Leader had a fantastic way of pronouncing “re”; hopefully that’s not changed.

Ciaran Goggins

This post has been removed because it breached Legal Cheek’s comments policy.

Anonymous

What’s everyone’s issue? Essex is a good uni (top 50 in the world for Law) but if you don’t agree don’t come to uni here? Think you guys should all get a life tbh……

Ciaran Goggins

Does the reading list contain “Rebecca” by Du Maurier?

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