Advice

‘I’m a month into my law degree and struggling with homesickness’

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I would appreciate any advice from those who have been in this position before

In the latest instalment in our Career Conundrums series, one fresh-faced law student is struggling with being away from home for the first time.

“Hi. I am just over a month into my law degree at university and it’s going well — study wise, anyway. The problem is I am struggling with homesickness. My campus is about 80 miles away from my family home and I can’t seem to adjust to university life. I get on well with my new flatmates but keep missing my home and family. Do you have any advice?”

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14 Comments

Anonymous

Go home at weekends. 80 miles is nothing.

(44)(0)

T

This is more common than you might think – some people are just better at hiding it. It will pass with time.

(24)(0)

Anon

Don’t people who spend 12+ hours a day in a law firm with good colleagues and banter in the team feel that they have a great family around them?

(5)(8)

Synopsis of K&E Associate

Something about not being an alpha. Something about big bonuses, fast cars and crack. Something about not making the cut. Add in a few insults re other firms. Job done. Back to LPC studies.

(37)(0)

K&E Megalad Topdick NQ Partner Autobahn

LOL such a beta thing to say clearly not cut out to be a rainmaker here at the ‘Land. My 6-figure bonus could privatise the 80-mile stretch from your campus but why bother when the brand new Lambo can cross it in about 6 minutes. Also I’m on crack. You’ll probably end up working at Cleary, Weil, or some other mid-market lego law firm with that attitude.

*Sweats nervously as he eyes the Business Law textbook on the self-funded LPC*

(36)(5)

Addleshaw Future Trainee, Sep 2020

Weil is a top firm. Clearly is on the rocks in London.

(8)(0)

LLB Student

It’s Cleary*. And what makes you say that?

(3)(2)

Anon

You are now trying to be an adult not a child. Which side if the line is this feeling? If it is the wrong side jettison it.

(5)(7)

Anon

I was in this exact situation and ended up dropping out after the first term and having to go back and start again a year later. I think the problem was that I was calling home every night and crying to my parents for hours because I missed them, and going home frequently at weekends, so I didn’t make as many friends as I should have done.

I know they thought they were helping but looking back years later I wish my parents had been a bit harder and told me they’d speak to me three times a week and to only go home once a month. They missed me too and we were feeding each other’s misery with too much contact.

So my advice, maybe controversially, is to lessen the contact/trips home and try harder with making friends, getting involved in activities etc where you are to build a new life there – you’re going to be there for at least three years and you will never have as many chances to meet different people and try new things again.

(42)(0)

David

This sounds very much like me. Try and grind through it, and I promise it will pass. I suspect you will also have struggled with change at other points in your life – some people are just wired this way. One thing is certain – at some point you will look back on this and see it as a phase which, although painful, you are glad that you went through. All the very best.

(15)(0)

Anonymous

Why I sent the little blighters to boarding school.

(19)(2)

Legal Genius

Either deal with it or quit and pack up. City law tolerates no weakness!

(5)(12)

BIGGUS DICKUS

Why is the banner for this article a posh door for a posh house in some leafy area of West London? Does the OP live there?

(12)(0)

Real Barrister

I recommend you book a trip back home a month or so after the start date of each new term. This will give you something to look forward to, and so long as you have made clear to the people at home that it’s important that you see them, then you can plan a meal with everyone as well. I also recommend having a few of your favourite home comforts to hand. In my case, this was the very exciting combination of i) the tea I drank at home; ii) the biscuits I ate at home; and iii) my radio and desk lamp on my desk in the same place I had it at home. I also recommend taking up a sport so you get regular mood-boosting exercise, and get to meet new people where you are.

I hope the above is useful, though it’s not very glamorous!

(27)(0)

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