Bizarre

‘Oxford law student’ offers Obama herd of cows, sheep and goats to marry daughter

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Kenyan-based young lawyer reckons 16-year-old Malia will fancy rediscovering her African roots — and he’s prepared to pay the going rate

Lead

The leader of the free world and the planet’s remaining military superpower is today weighing up a contractual offer from a fellow lawyer — involving a herd farm animals — for his daughter’s hand in marriage.

Kenyan lawyer Felix Kiprono Matagei (pictured below) — who claims to be doing a master’s degree in law at Oxford — has told local media he is prepared to stump up 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats to US President Barack Obama if the big man will green light a proposal to his 16-year-old daughter Malia.

Lead

According to newspaper The Nairobian, Kiprono has is keen to meet Barak, who graduated from Harvard law school before doing a four-year stint as an associate at Chicago litigation law firm Davis Miner Barnhill & Galland.

Kiprono, who fails to list details of his legal practice either on Facebook or LinkedIn, told The Nairobian:

I got interested in her [Malia] in 2008 [er, when she was nine]. As a matter of fact, I haven’t dated anyone since and promise to be faithful to her.

I have shared this with my family and they are willing to help me raise the bride price.

The US president is himself half Kenyan — his father was a prominent Nairobi-based economist — which has encouraged Kiprono to believe that Malia will be keen to discover her African roots.

Indeed, if tempted, Malia has a treat awaiting when the proposal is actually made.

I will not resort to the cliché of popping champagne, Kiprono told the newspaper. Instead, I will surprise her with mursik, the traditional Kalenjin sour milk. As an indication that she is my queen, I will tie sinendet, which is a sacred plant, around her head.

The reaction to that gesture by US Secret Service agents — bodyguards for the first family and renowned for their finely tuned sense of humour — should keep the young lawyer on his toes.

Oxford University was unable to trace a record of Kiprono’s studies as Legal Cheek went to press with this article.

9 Comments

botzarelli

I think this is just an update of a possibly apocryphal story I recall from my time at Oxford. In that one, a female student complained to the Dean of her college that a fellow student had been harassing her by offering 20 camels, 50 cattle (etc etc) to marry her. The Dean, a Nigerian origin fellow of law, looked her up and down and advised her to accept as it was a very generous offer she was unlikely to have improved upon.

(8)(2)

U Mad Brah

#humblebrag

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Anon

‘Barak’?

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The Real NIteowl

The caliber of these famous Oxford law grads (or graduates to be, in this instance) – they must be leaving the world gasping for air with stuff like this.

Which Oxford does he attend? The Kenyan “Oxford School of English Dictionary”?

(6)(1)

Viv

Twat

(0)(0)

Saddam's dilapidated bunker

How on earth is this any news Judge? I fail to understand why LC should even remotely consider publishing a story about some obscure peasant who felt like gaining attention by speaking to the press about marrying “Barak’s” (sic) daughter.

(6)(4)

Not a fan...bitch

Legal cheek publish a lot of rubbish…fail to see the point of its existence as not bringing any benefits. Just get a proper job.

(1)(0)

Legal Weak

I believe it’s called humour.

(1)(1)

Anonymous

Matter of personal opinion…fail to laugh at all this nonsense. Maybe try stand up comedy in your next job as this isn’t going to last.

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