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Law student in five-year legal battle to use penis drawing as official signature

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He has faced stiff opposition

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A law student is locked in a lengthy legal battle to use a crudely drawn sketch of a penis as his official signature.

Jared Hyams, 33, a law student at Victoria University in Australia, has fought local authorities for almost five years for the right use the cock and balls.

Hyams’ cocky undertaking began when he opted to use the phallic sign-off on a voting change of address document. Less than impressed, the Australian Electoral Commission rejected it. Appealing the decision, the Commission described the ballsy law student’s application as “frivolous”.

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The aspiring lawyer tried the same move with his local department for transport, taking them to court twice over the right to use the rude doodle as his official signature on his driving licence. According to Australian newspaper the Morning Herald, Hyams was threatened with contempt.

Clearly undeterred by the threats, Hyams’ re-application appears to have slipped through licensing authorities’ rigorous vetting procedures. Images circulating the interweb show the penis signature not only on his official driving licence, but his health card, proof of age card and even his law school ID.

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According to several reports, the ongoing battle for the right to use the penis drawing is what inspired Hyams to enrol at law school.

Speaking to his local newspaper he said:

It sparked something in me, I didn’t understand if these people were offended or had taken it personally.

It will certainly make for an interesting talking point if Hyams — who argues that “what a signature is comes down to the function, not the actual form” — bags a training contract interview. Let’s just hope they don’t get him to sign anything.