On the eve of the Presidential election, we celebrate the man who would be king*

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By Legal Cheeker on

And if he wins, it’s a bonanza for lawyers


In less than 24 hours Donald Trump could be the President of the United States. This may not be good news for a number of people, among them:

Muslims. In December 2015, the outspoken chairman and president, Trump Association, called for a ban on Muslims entering the US. Mexicans. As Trump put it:

When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending the best. They’re not sending you, they’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They bring crime. They’re rapists… And some, I assume, are good people.

Trump would like to build a wall between Mexico and the US.

Women. The Donald’s “locker room” banter is well-known. He also once said:

You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.

Hillary Clinton. Trump doesn’t like his opponent in the presidential race. To him, she is “crooked Hillary” — and, at the third Presidential Debate, “a nasty woman”.

The American media. Trump has made many promises to change America’s libel laws. He wants to make it easier (for people like him) to sue for libel “and win money”.

We could go on, and on, and on, but if he wins one group of American citizens is sure to profit from Trump.

Yes, lawyers. Consider:

Trump as President, seeking to implement a ban on Muslims entering the US. Lots of work for human rights and immigration lawyers, for and against.

Trump as President, building a wall between Mexico and the US. Plenty for project finance and construction lawyers to get their teeth into.

Trump as President, ensuring that whatever happens, he has “a young, and beautiful, piece of ass”. Hang on — he’s happily married. This was just a blast from the locker room. Nothing doing.

Trump as President, suing Hillary Clinton for the tort of being Hillary Clinton. New legal ground here; plenty to ponder.

Trump as President, changing America’s libel laws. Here the keen golfer will need to tackle the US Constitution and get rid of the First Amendment. This is no small undertaking and will require a Jarndyce v. Jarndyce level of legal work.

We say: here’s to democracy.

Trump says: Have I told you the one about Bill Clinton’s wife?

American citizens say: You’ll have to wait a bit longer.

*Er, President.