Don’t thrust your genitalia through a stranger’s letterbox
Lawyers have taken to Twitter in their droves to share side-splitting anecdotes involving the mindless antics of some of their clients.
Utilising the hashtag #freelegaltips, solicitors and barristers have disclosed some of the more interesting experiences only a career in law can bring.
While Legal Cheek cannot vouch for the accuracy of these stories, we think you’ll agree they are all hilarious. Without further ado, here are some of our favourites:
Sometimes honesty isn’t always the best policy.
Sacked for calling a coworker a "little c*nt"? When asked "why did you call him that?", don't reply "he wasn't very tall" #freelegaltips
— Emma Dixon 🇪🇺 (@EmmaDixon_EU) December 21, 2016
Relationships can be tricky things.
If thrusting your genitalia into your ex's letterbox to try and rekindle your relationship check you have the right address #freelegaltips
— Jeremy Robson (@jezrobson) December 21, 2016
Who said anything about a stabbing?
When arrested for an assault, don't say 'I never stabbed anyone' when the police haven't yet told you it was a stabbing.#freelegaltips
— Matt Stanbury (@thepubliclawyer) December 21, 2016
Dad, you’re alive!
If you've been excused Court to go to yr Dad's funeral, don't get arrested for shoplifting on the day. With your Dad. #freelegaltips
— timburrows (@timburrows19) December 21, 2016
Shall I compare thee to a sausage roll?
If you want to flatter your brief, don't tell her she is like a "premium sausage roll, not like the ones you get in Asda" #freelegaltips
— Rebecca Herbert (@RebeccaHerber44) December 21, 2016
Probably best to keep the sexual fantasies to yourself.
Don't yell drunkenly to the Judge that she, along with your Barrister, is hot & that you are imagining a "knockoff law porno" #freelegaltips
— DefenceGirl ❄️ (@DefenceGirl) December 22, 2016
Hair today, gone tomorrow.
Don't tell the Judge you'll co-operate with hair-strand drug testing&come back next week with shaved head and no pubic hair #freelegaltips
— Cllr Molly Giles (@mollygiles2015) December 21, 2016
Don’t try and sell drugs to your Attorney General (NB: John McKendrick QC is actually the AG of Anguilla)
Don't try to sell cannabis to the Attorney General on the beach 🌴#freelegaltips
— John McKendrick QC (@JohnMQC) December 21, 2016
I think this is what they now call ‘doing a Huhne’.
If you're missus is going to take your speeding points, don't then divorce her.#freelegaltips
— Philip Morris (@PhilipJMorris) December 21, 2016
Probably best to get your story straight before you’re in the dock.
Don't walk into Reading Magistrates' Court turn to your co-defendant and loudly say "Chantelle what's our defence again?" #freelegaltips
— Douglas Lloyd (@DouglasLloydUK) December 21, 2016
There is no helping some people.
Do not attend trial for sexual offence wearing T shirt reading 'you looked better when I did you from behind' #freelegaltips
— Laura (@lozhockers) December 21, 2016
Nice fancy dress costume! Would you like to buy some speakers?
Don't try to sell electrical items of dubious provenance, to a man wearing wig & gown stood outside Doncaster County Court #freelegaltips
— Andrew Wilson (@pibarrister) December 21, 2016
Do you have an amusing legal story you would like to share? Be sure to post it in the comments section below.