Law student cross-examines classmates about who left paper towel-wrapped ‘poop’ on toilet floor

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By Thomas Connelly on

“Were you raised by wolves?”


A US law student has sent a hilarious email to his fellow classmates, demanding further information regarding a paper towel-wrapped ‘poop’, which was discarded on a bathroom floor.

Using a system called Listserv — which is basically an electronic mailing list — the wannabe lawyer fired off an inquisitive email to his colleagues, keen to find out how, and why, someone opted to conceal their poo in a paper towel, and not use the toilet provided.

The anonymous student, who studies at the University of Michigan Law School, kicks things off by confirming that he (or she) did indeed discover a poo on the toilet floor:


Quickly entering cross-examination mode, the young legal eagle — eager to know more — fires off a series of questions, in the hope the pooing perpetrator will respond.


Continuing to speculate, the law student asks whether they purchased a pair of “tongs” to remove the poo from the toilet, or simply grabbed a set from the kitchen.


First spotted by our friends at Above The Law, the email — which is entitled “How did the LoCo Personal Room Poop Perpetrator do it?” — then turns slightly philosophical, with the law student asking “what kind of world are we living in?”

But perhaps there’s a legitimate reason for all this madness. Continuing, the author suggests that his academic pooping-peer may have been “raised by wolves”, or is even “an actual wolf”.


Reaching the conclusion of his email, the student — appearing to accept that they will never receive a response — compares the case of the paper towel wrapped poo to “Sherlock’s apparent death in Season 3, episode 1 of TV series Sherlock.”

This isn’t the first time a poo-related incident has made Legal Cheek headlines.

Last year, tax lawyer Marianna Christou sent Twitter into meltdown after revealing that someone had defecated on the floor of Westminster Magistrates Court.

Revealing that the poo had been left outside Courtroom 7, it’s still not clear to this day whether it was a defendant or — God forbid — a lawyer.

You can read the email in full below: