LOL

Bog roll bust-up: London lawyer sends incredible email to flatmates explaining why it’s not his turn to buy toilet paper

By on
57

So. Much. Cringe.

A leaked email has revealed an incredible bog roll related bust-up between a young City lawyer and his two flatmates.

In a rather passive aggressive message sent to his housemates (in full below), the London-based lawyer explains in alarming detail why it’s not his turn to purchase toilet roll.

The associate — who Legal Cheek has chosen not to name — wastes no time telling pals Nicola and Christopher that he “had bought 9 toilet paper rolls last time and that only eight had been bought since.”

Continuing, our disgruntled lawyer, who Legal Cheek understands no longer lives with Nicola and Christopher, goes on to rebut a previous claim that he had purchased inferior toilet roll. Stressing that his rolls were “3 ply thick,” our domestic dictator explains he had also “bought 17 of the 29 rolls used in the two previous months.”

But our legal eagle isn’t finished just yet. The email — which presumably made for awkward dinner conversation that evening — goes on to tackle the sensitive subjects of “bin bags” and “wash liquid for dishes.”

Signing off, the junior lawyer hopes the email will avoid any “misunderstanding.” Yes, crystal clear.

Read the email in full below:

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57 Comments

Anonymous

But how did LC break this before the FT?

(175)(1)

bog roll

I would have printed a stack of those emails and left them in the toilet so everyone could wipe their bottys with it.

Problem solved

(5)(0)

Anonymous

Forget Legal, I can’t believe you have the cheek to post this.

(24)(1)

Anonymous

The perils of house sharing with people you don’t really like…

(14)(1)

Pongobulb

Let’s hope he worked at Irwin Mitchell or DWF – he could have stolen some from the toilets.

Oh wait, no, they don’t have any.

(9)(2)

Irwin Mitchell Partner

The alleyway where we all go to cry when we remember where we work is our toilet.

(14)(1)

DWF Trainee/Slave

An entire alleyway?! Lucky b*stards. I count myself lucky if I can sneak in a quick cry during the 10 minutes it takes my morbidly obese supervisor to turn his overstuffed sausage skin of a body to face me.

(15)(0)

Clifford Chance

Don’t those firms have a swimming pool?

(13)(0)

Anonymous

Jones Day leave newspaper for the associates to use

(0)(0)

Anonymous

What a cheapskate, and how on earth does he have time to waste on something so idiotic?

(7)(1)

Anonymous

I’m more confused the lack of social skills/self awareness that made him think writing a lawyerly letter in the completely inappropriate context of am email to his flatmates about bog roll is normal.
It’s this kind of thing that brings young layers into disrepute among their peers.

(17)(2)

Anonymous

All that education and training and he mistakes “row” with “raw”

FIRE HIM!

(29)(1)

SingaporeSwing

Well done for not ruining someone’s career.

The writer of that email is probably exhausted and has lost all sense of proportion.

(42)(0)

Anonymous

Classic London life. Great job, great income, live in a fucking house share.

(45)(2)

Yuppy McYupface

Cocaine doesn’t pay for itself you know.

(27)(2)

Jones Day Partner

I clicked the link as I thought this was at my firm – I misread the sub heading.

(1)(5)

Anonymous

London sucks. House shares suck.

(3)(1)

Anonymous

Your mum sucks.

(8)(4)

Anonymous

Your dad sucks.

(3)(1)

Anonymous

Your son sucks.

(1)(1)

Anonymous

Your vacuum cleaner sucks.

(1)(0)

Anonymous

This article is a sad indictment on everyone and everything involved.

Legal Cheek – shame on you for publishing such bile.

People involved – stop being so petty

London – even lawyers have to house share. What a joke.

(15)(4)

Anonymous

I work in Scotland. Qualified. House share. Not unusual as a junior.

(1)(2)

Anonymous

What the hell was that video LC just posted with KK running around London?!

(2)(0)

SingaporeSwing

I thought it was quite impressive!!

(0)(13)

Anonymous

Pause it at 1:13 – “Readability – needs improvement” – I think this must be on every LC article.

(0)(0)

Anonymous

The running or the unashamed self promotion?

(0)(0)

Anonymous

I’d rather buy more bog roll and do the bins than send that email.

House shares are poverty.

(9)(0)

Anonymous

Oh dear. A pity privacy is not respected anymore.

I also wonder why they didn’t just have a pool that they each put money into each month (an equal share of course) for such expenses.

The perils of the house share..

(3)(0)

Tim

He writes the e mail to set out his position?

Is he squatting?

(5)(0)

Anonymous

So clearly people who earn upwards of £40,000 a year have to house share in London. What a farce. We’re all doomed.

(3)(0)

Anonymous

If you’re from the Shires, you may not realise that many people on benefits have a net income in excess of an equivalent of £40k earned in the workplace.

And they don’t pay market rent either.

(4)(1)

Anonymous

Many in the regions will earn around £40k and still house share when qualified.

(1)(0)

Anonymous

Nicola and/or Christopher is clearly a snitch.

Nobody likes a grass.

(31)(0)

Anonymous

I like grass.

(1)(13)

Anonymous

If you’d use a funny name like “grazing cow” then your comment would have been amusing.

As you didn’t, it was an epic fail.

(24)(1)

Grazing Cow

I hate grass.

(4)(15)

Anonymous

Too late, bro.

(13)(2)

Bob Marley

I like grass

(10)(0)

Anonymous

My comment was an epic fail? Oh no… boo hoo.

(2)(13)

Banta Claus

This post has been removed because it breached Legal Cheek’s comments policy.

(13)(3)

Anonymous

If you’d said “boo moo”, you could have recovered it, but you didn’t. Soz.

(9)(1)

Anonymous

This thread is udderly ridiculous. Stop milking it.

(8)(2)

Anonymous

Stop being a see you en tee.

(0)(6)

Anonymous

Ok pal, CU Next Tuesday.

Anonymous

Your comment must have been written on the hoof – it needs to be beefed up.

Anonymous

Sounds pretty reasonable to me. It’s not irate or mean. You have to stand your ground in house shares or else you get messed around.

(2)(2)

Christopher & Nicola

IT WAS UNREASONABLE!!!

YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS GUY AND KNOW WHAT WE GO THROUGH!!!

(21)(0)

Word Police

Bog roll, is a highly offensive ethically stereotypical word. I am more offended than everyone else, so LC should remove this article at once

(0)(4)

Anonymous

Just because bog rhymes with something racist doesn’t mean it is.

p.s. B- banter pal.

(9)(0)

Bumblebee

The idea that fog is a racist weather phenomenon, arising out of secret US military research at the Fort Detrick Laboratory in the 1980s, has been COMPLETELY DISCREDITED.

It’s a MYTH which was conceived of and propagated by Russian intelligence officials in order to influence the United States presidential election of 1988 between George H. W. Bush and Michael Dukakis. You stupid drones need to WAKE UP and smell the FACTS.

All the information is there on the internet if you jut bother to READ it, instead of making stupid comments in relation to things which you KNOW NOTHING about.

STOP believing the LIES and read a BOOK!!!!

(12)(1)

Anonymous

Is this BREXIT from rollonfriday?

(6)(0)

Anonymous

Let’s have a beer

(0)(0)

Bar Clerk

Who is the Master of the Rolls?

(6)(1)

Anonymous

Sergio Garcia

(3)(0)

Tebbit

Me am de Norman poofter.

(0)(0)

Awful Goodness

I remember the first widely circulated e-mail involving lawyers around 16 or so years ago.

It concerned Bradley and his ‘essence’ described as ‘yours was yum’ by willing legal colleague skilled in fellatio and him trumpeting that to his mates as a compliment and away it went.

Far better than this bollocks.

(0)(0)

Comments are closed.