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Criminal bar chief creates Love Island translator for lawyers

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‘Got a text’ = a new brief has arrived in chambers

The return of Love Island means it’s time to brace yourself for a raft of bizarre but catchy lingo thrown about the Majorcan villa. We’ve already heard iconic catchphrases, ‘I’ve got a text’, ‘my type on paper’ and ‘grafting’ crop up in convo with a couple of new additions such as ‘bev’, ‘it is what it is’ and ‘factor 50’.

For lawyers unacquainted with wacky words as such, one barrister has created a handy translator for some of the hit dating show’s most popular phrases.

Love Island for Lawyers is the fun and light-hearted dictionary put together by Carmelite Chambers criminal silk and chair of the Criminal Bar Association (CBA), Chris Henley QC. Despite claiming he has “never watched” the reality TV show in the CBA’s ‘Monday’ Message, Henley’s list is sure to raise a chuckle among members of the legal profession.

What the Islander says

Lawyer translation

“Got a text” A new brief has arrived in chambers
“If there’s one thing I am, it’s loyal” I’m going to cut your throat
“Grafting” Doing an overnight skeleton argument
“It is what it is” Response to an unanswerable bad character application
“Casa Amor” The Court of Appeal
“Recoupling” A successful application to transfer the representation order
“Pied” Sacked by your client
“My type on paper” I’ve never met the client
“Putting all your eggs in one basket” Serving a defence statement
“Can I pull you for a chat” You should be pleading guilty
“Being a total melt” Applying for an adjournment
“Cracking on” Moving chambers
The 2019 Legal Cheek Chambers Most List

14 Comments

Anonymous

LOL top banter love it

Anonymous

Finally, some real news on Legal Cheek.

Anonymous

Please delete Legal Cheek.

several thousand criminal barristers

The chairman of the CBA should stop writing pathetic unfunny twitter bollocks and instead grow a spine and stand up to the MoJ on fees.

Anonymous

Move on! This would be so 20th century. We are in the age of Twitter and Instagram now.

Jordan Peterson

Beyonce. Katie King.

🧐

Linda the Photoshop expert

This made my edited lips pull into a smile. Top batnz hehe.

Anonymous

Interesting that Legal Cheek has completely pulled the comments section of their Linda Lu article. Deleted every single comment without a trace lol. A comments section doesn’t even exist.

Zyzz

FUARK, THE BANTERSAURUS REX HAS ARRIVED!

TOP TOP US CHAMP

“It is what it is” = MC associates justifying their prestige over money

Anonymous

Funnily enough, the last time I heard that phrase being used was a middle aged compliance worker who’d just found out she’d been violating gdpr for half a year.
I now indelibly associate it with a resigned indifference to everything around you

Former CBA Chairman

I’ve got one for you lad.

“I’ve just become Chair of the CBA” = I will be a Circuit Judge in 24 months.

Anonymous

At the Bailey, if not the High Court Bench.

Anon

And?

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