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Flirty fail! Law student attempts to woo woman with screenshot of exam results

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29

WHY?!

A law student has discovered first hand that the way to a woman’s heart is surprisingly not a strong 2:1 in contract law.

In what will probably go down as the worst attempt at wooing ever, a male wannabe lawyer made the conscious decision to text a woman a copy of his exam results in a bid to secure a hook-up.

The brief conversation — a screenshot of which has been circulated widely on social media and picked up by the US website Above The Law — opens with the student explaining that they “should hang later” as he’s leaving for Boston tomorrow for five months.

A screenshot of the conversation

Assuring her there will be “no regrets”, the legally-minded lothario then proceeds to fire over a screenshot of his exam transcript (yes, seriously) in case it has “any influence” on the woman’s decision.

Unsurprisingly to everyone but the male law student in question, the not so subtle academic boast didn’t have the desired effect. She bluntly responds: “Trying to decide which Instagram I can submit this text to.” Ouch.

29 Comments

Anonymous

An A in 1L Contracts and an A- in Legal Writing is not enough in today’s competitive erotic market.

In the real world, people don’t care about your grades

This is approx 80% of law students. And therein lies the problem.

Anonymous

Using “therein” shows you are part of the aforementioned problem too.

The “aforementioned” was ironic.

Legalwhizz

Shouldn’t “the Problem” be a defined term?

Anon

Defined as “your mum”

Anonymous

As in “I’m shagging the Problem while your Dad watches”.

Scep Tick

You know when women say they prefer brains to looks?

They’re lying.

Anonymous

Yes, they prefer wealth to either.

Kirkland NQ

I usually find that a well-lit snap of the Lambo does the trick. I usually leave the tale about how I was hand-selected from my first ever Harvard lecture to start as a first year for the date itself but make reference if necessary to get the deal over the line.

Ricky G

Trying too hard with this one mate sorry, dial it down a notch

G

Yeah I agree, too much about the Lambo nowadays and not enough about smashing PE deals. Need to get some new material

John

Never gets old 🙄

I am toxic masculinity

Treating them like shit leads to far better results!

Anonymous

Was that the whole conversation?

JDP

Not the same as pics my trainee gets from me.

Anonymous

Naive to think this would impress her (unless he was being ironic), but the way he’s been targeted feels a bit like sexual harassment of him.

Wtf u on about?

…what aspect of this is sexual? I am puzzled.

You know really surely

You’re asking which part of ‘flirty’, ‘wooing’, ‘hookup’ and ‘the way to someone’s heart is sexual’? Try to answer without wtf or ffs?

Anonymous

What a bitch.

Obviously this is a terrible strategy that is never going to work. But if he’s genuinely trying to be nice, there’s no need to humiliate the guy.

Anonymous

Virgin

Anonymous

British Airways

Mornington Airline

Delta

Anonymous

Who posts their transcripts?

Clearly he’s not using them as an attempt to get her on a date, he’s using the conversation for selfish validation and an ego boost. “I got some 70s! Tell me again how clever I am, because I’ve run out of ways to tell myself”.

Anonymous

Unless they’d previously discussed grades.

Results focused

Such things are about quantity of attempts. Yes, 95% of the time the early dick pick move crashes, but when it works you know it is going to be with someone depraved. The other 95% think you are a sad loser, but who cares when you are getting some?

Ah those uni daze ...

Pretty much the same words said in 1998 by one of my mates.
“I walk up to attractive women in bars, point the finger pistol and ask ‘Name?’ ”
Sure, 9 out of 10 times you get slapped, shoved or ignored … but that ONE TIME ….”

Glad to see how this has modernized but the principle remains the same #Gametheory

Steve

This made me chucke

So many regrets. So many.

“No regrets” – Sorry mate, unfortunately this hasn’t been the case here.

I think he feels like this guy:
https://images.app.goo.gl/ktgm6uUkXPVoeXkK8

[We’re The Millers is a rubbish film apart from three things:
1. The No Regrets character
2. The Excellent Will Poulter
3. Out-takes over the credits where the cast suprises Jennifer Aniston with the Friends theme tune]

I think you mean...

No Ragrets

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