LOL

Trainee solicitor lifts the lid on his fast-paced ‘Wall Street’ lifestyle at West Country high street firm

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52

He’s Bristol’s answer to Gordon Gekko

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A fresh-faced trainee lawyer at a small West Country-based law firm has revealed his Wall Street-esque lifestyle in an amazing online diary.

Shaun White — who is a trainee at Bristol “boutique” outfit Cook & Co — has lifted the lid on what a “typical” working day consists of, thanks to a new journal-style entry published on the firm’s website earlier this month.

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With magic circle lawyers still tucked up in bed, White kicks his day off at 5:45am. Having received his morning motivational quote from his supervisor — courtesy of 1980s blockbuster Wall Street — the young trainee has already submitted the first draft of an “asset sale” by 5:46am.

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The clock strikes 5:50am and it’s time for a hit of caffeine while White checks “what’s on tap for the day”.

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White reveals to readers he is currently part of an important research study being undertaken by boffins at the University of Bristol. Measuring his physical activity on his commute to work, it’s now 6:45am and White — pedometer attached — heads into Cook & Co headquarters.

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Arriving at his desk at 7:15am, the young trainee has another “brew” while he peruses the Financial Times, brushing up on his commercial awareness.

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It’s not even 8:00am and the young lawyer is getting stuck in to some proper legal work. On today’s agenda, a spot of insider trading the acquisition of a construction firm.

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Morning rush over, White’s supervisor treats him to lunch at one of Bristol’s fine eateries. The trainee — who studied law at the University of Bristol — has a “sirloin steak” cooked “blue” while checking out his “brand new company iPhone”.

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After an afternoon working on big money deals, it’s now 4:45pm and time for White to rub shoulders with the West Country’s great and good. It’s a top networking event with local coffee shop Bakesmiths providing the catering.

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At 7:45pm White gives his office desk a quick tidy before leaving. Oh, but there’s just enough time for one last Wall Street inspired motivational quote from his supervisor.

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52 Comments

Anonymous

Either this guy is delusional, his supervisor is, or it’s sexed up…

(17)(0)

Anonymous

From the sounds of it, I doubt this trainee and supervisor are too familiar with the term “sexed up” in any context.

(3)(0)

Charlotte

It’s woufnrdel to have you on our side, haha!

(0)(0)

A sick mind on day-release

🎼OOH ARRRRRRRR!!!!

IT’S AMBROSIA!!!!!🎤

(1)(0)

Chas Scoobs

…what a load of bulls*t…

(5)(3)

Chas Scoobs

*bullsh*t

(14)(1)

Jodie

Real brain power on dilysap. Thanks for that answer!

(0)(0)

Anonymous

Well done LC, this story only surfaced on RoF first last Friday! Keep up the quality plagiarism!

(100)(1)

Tommy Connelly

Stfu wasteman.

(8)(3)

Anonymous

Well done ripping off rollonfriday

(23)(1)

Interloper

This reads like a parody…

Either way, assuming it is actually authentic..
a) if he’s so obsessed with Gordon Gecko, how come he didn’t apply to work for any random poxy investment bank. Then he could liiiiive the City and find out how tedious it actually all is in reality

b) that lifestyle (steaks for dinner, tons of coffee and drinking ale at the end of every day) WILL actually kill him

(14)(0)

Anonymous

I would respect this Wall Street spoof far more if it were done along the lines of American Psycho.

Albeit there’s a handful of scenes of Charlie Sheen in Wall Street 1 rising early in the morning to hustle down Vessey Street on Lower Manhattan, I think far more people would find it funny if the trainee obsessively referred to business cards or his morning routine or how he’s just a mere entity, than the Gordon Gecko references.

(3)(0)

Anonymous

“a copy of the Financial Times”

“browsing ft.com..”

Reading fail LC. Well done.

(5)(1)

Anonymous

This is a joke, right?

(3)(0)

Charlie Cook, Esq.

Your a joke. We’re the best firm in Bristol.

(14)(9)

Anonymous

You’re a joke for not knowing the difference between “you’re” and “your”

(15)(9)

Charlie Cook, Esq. OBE

But I’m rich and you’re not, tee hee.

(6)(6)

Anonymous

But I taught you grammar. Tee hee.

(1)(5)

Charlie Cook, Esq. OBE MBA

I think you meant to write ‘grammer’, you illiterate flog.

(7)(4)

Anonymous

No, I didn’t. Check a dictionary next time you try to correct someone.

(3)(1)

Charlie Cook, Esq. OBE MBA LLM

It’s spelled ‘dicktionary’ you cockweed.

Lakeisha

That really caeutrps the spirit of it. Thanks for posting.

(0)(0)

A solicitor from Bristol

This post has been removed because it breached Legal Cheek’s comments policy.

(3)(0)

Anonymous

Came here to also say YOU DO REALISE THAT WE ALL READ ROLLONFRIDAY?

(16)(0)

Maryellen

I was so confused about what to buy, but this makes it unleastrndabde.

(0)(0)

Proelia

Utter horse shit and not even funny or interesting.

(4)(0)

Anonymous

With this and the Prince Harry tosh earlier, clearly nothing is happening today even for LC to stoop to comment upon.

(4)(0)

Tyrion

The only way a solicitor in Bristol wakes up at 5.50 AM is if he needs to fit a spot of farming in before he actually starts his day at work. Those guys are lazy as sin. Admittedly some are sharp and could have made it in the City, but they are in Bristol for a reason i.e. leave the office at 17.30 and target hours of 500 billable for a 5 year period.

(31)(8)

Anonymous

500 billable a year!!! Lolzies.

More like treble that number as fairly standard. Not all country bumpkins, son.

(9)(5)

Anonymous

Yeah you keep telling yourself that

(5)(5)

Tyrion

500 over 5 years = 100 a year. Maybe you do 500 in one year and then tend to the firm sheep for the remaining 4 years?

(3)(1)

Anonymous

This is either great banter or tragic.

(5)(1)

Anonymous

The consensus in the comments on RoF where this was copied and pasted from is the latter.

(5)(1)

Anonymous

HOW be on? It be a bit dimpsy, bain’t it? Gi’s a gurt big pint of thee best zider,
5.45 need to meet with translator

(2)(1)

Anonymous

Oi think ee’s one o them forrins me babber, ee don’t talk proper like wot we do innit. Brizzle is gert lush moind so oi don’t blame im for coming ere and that my lover

(5)(1)

Nona

This post has been removed because it breached Legal Cheek’s comments policy.

(0)(1)

High Streeter 7 yrs PQE

Nope.

Really it is 9-5 for £40- 50K with the odd out of hours phone call and little/no homeworking.

(6)(0)

Anonymous

There’s nothing to worry about here. The transaction documents such as the asset sale and the board minutes, stock transfer forms etc are all template documents. They will just need the [ ] to be tweaked to reflect the details of the new matter.
If the trainee was allowed to work from home, with the documents from the businesses concerned being accessible through a portal that the company had loaded them up onto, he could have done all that in four hours.
It is not much more difficult than conveyancing, save that your urgent deadlines are set by millionaire players who seek to derive a meaningful role in life by making their subservient lawyers work long hours to suit their whims.
Anyone who is intimidated by the culture of Mergers and Acquisitions should think “Katie Hopkins”. Although Katie did not become an M & A lawyer, she would have had the background and level of intelligence required to succeed at it 🙂

(3)(7)

Stallone

Cool story brah, genuinely changed me loyf.

(3)(0)

Anonymous

This is no more laughable than city trainees’ breathless accounts of ‘glamorous’ work on deals and projects that have appeared on LC in the past.

The only really interesting and worthwhile work done by lawyers is in crime, family and occasionally general common law.

(5)(2)

Anonymous

True, but unlike this poor schmuck, some City lawyers will actually be making money comparable to a junior professional on Wall Street.

This post has been moderated because it breached Legal Cheek’s comments policy.

(6)(0)

Anonymous

Fair point.

(1)(0)

Anonymous

Clifton and the Waterfront/Hotwells ain’t that cheap, homie. Costs a lot of dolla.

(6)(6)

Hunka Chunka

£150,000 for a one-bed flat ain’t a ‘lot of dolla’, fucko.

(4)(5)

Anonymous

£150k barely gets you a poxy 1-bed in Easton, you absolutely clueless idiot.

(6)(4)

Anonymous

Gets you 5 bedroom house in the North, that!

(1)(2)

Anonymous

Calm down fucko.

(3)(3)

Betty

Hi Y’all,Sounds like a book my Human might enjoy! She likes animal books with happy en0i2gs&#8n3d;actually she only likes books or movies with happy endings. Y’all come by now,Hawk aka BrownDog

(0)(1)

Anonymous

Can people keep the comments clean. Sick of wading through the trash some people write to see the few gems.

(4)(3)

Anonymous

I am cheering on my Katie Hopkins comment to get an equaliser and then have the green thumbs pull ahead, but it cannot quite manage it. So, here I am again, giving it a push.

Are the M & A lawyers and their sympathisers on here seriously going to take the position that the panel of army officers who gave Katie a university scholarship to get into Sandhurst, via Exeter, to work in signals intelligence were so inferior and were looking for such lesser qualities in their quarry than a panel of associates and partners at somewhere between Cook & Co and Clifford Chance ?

Are you seriously going to try and carry the position that the panel of a Manhatten Advertising firm that recruited her for brand management also falls short of a panel between Cook & Co and Clifford Chance ?

And then Lord Sugar – who used to be a client of Herbert Smith, and may still be, had her in the top 3 of that Apprentice cohort when she resigned for not wishing to relocate her family from Devon to Essex.

Get over yourselves, your job is easy. Your hours and your deadlines are not, but that is because no M & A lawyer ever turned around to the local millionaire and said “If you push the deadline out, you’ll give me the time to teach any of my lawyers how to work through the firm’s M & A precedents and I’ll reduce my fee. I am not that bothered about having the kids at boarding school, and having the Audi Q7. I’ll happily switch to a Ford Galaxy and comprehensive school because I am sick of pretending that I am superior to virtually everyone else I went to law school and university with, just to serve the whims of people like you.” 🙂

(3)(6)

Anonymous

I have absolutely no idea what the above is supposed to mean. And it’s Manhattan.

(2)(1)

Anonymous

homie is having a breakdown

(2)(1)

Comments are closed.