Advice

Is dating a trainee I met at a law fair a recipe for disaster?

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He works at my dream firm

In the latest instalment in our Career Conundrums series, one wannabe lawyer is torn between her head and her heart.

I have a massive problem LC. I am a law student and have met this guy. The problem is that he’s a trainee at a City firm and I met him at my university law fair. To further complicate matters he is at my dream firm. Having exchanged numbers we have been messaging non-stop over the last week. He has now invited me to London to spend time with him and meet some of his colleagues.

I might be overthinking this, but my concern is if (and that’s a big if) we start dating seriously could this jeopardise my chances of getting a place at the firm? What happens if we break up? For example, what’s to stop him bad-mouthing me to other lawyers at the firm. Alternatively, if we are still together, do City firms frown upon work relationships? Please help!

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63 Comments

Anonymous

Jones Day partner in 3, 2, 1….

Jones Day Partner

Sorry about the delay, I was chairing a harassment tribunal.

Look, don’t waste your time with puppies when you can have wolves. Call me

Patrick

Top bantz.

Do you know Huey Lewis and The News?

Rupert; a US Firm Associate

I love the whole playlist, Patrick. By the way? I had a dinner with Paul last night, he’s in London.

Norbert; a US Firm reject

Ah! Poopert Bear!

Glad you could join us again.

How’s Pig-lit, your rotund writer friend?

Rupert; a US Firm Associate

Do you realise how hurtful and upsetting it is to make fun of someone’s name like that?

Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to???

I’m going to have Legal Cheek hand over your IP address and then take action against you with all the might of the firm I work for.

We’ll see who’s laughing then, Norbert.

You can await the call of my colleagues soon.

Rupert; a US Firm Associate

“People who live in glass houses, should not throw stones.“

You see, you rather poor imposter, I would never actually express myself in such a poor, tasteless, yobbish and frankly unfunny manner.

Anonymous

POOPERT! POOPERT!

POOPY POOPY POOPERT!!!!!!!

Jones Day puppy

Did you get harassed while chairing it?

Anonymous

killed it, mate

Not dissapointed

Absolutely outstanding.

Anonymous

Not as outstanding as your spelling on “disappointed”

Not dissapointed

My apologies, they don’t give us spellcheckers at IM. Then again there is a general attitude of floccinaucinihilipilification towards staff there.

Someone who went to Westminster and was not touched by an MP

When are you going to bring out a book Jones Day Partner? It would be a first rate publication I think.

Anonymous

“To spend time with him and meet some of his colleagues”

Yeah, right.

Anonymous

In my days this was known as an orgy.

Anonymous

Don’t do it. There are plenty of other people to meet in the City outside the firm who you could potentially go out with. In my experience it is best to try and keep your work and personal lives separate, rather than risk them becoming muddled by overlapping.

@nighthawkprof

Probably this

This is good “advice”

However — where’s the fun in that?

Life your life

@nighthawkprof

And don’t forget — live your life as well

Anonymous

Chances are you won’t get a job there anyway….and even if you did, he would have probably left by then (you’re at least three years from starting training with them). I say, go for it.

Toppsy Kretts

The heck with it – why not?

Anonymous

How’s Timm doing?

Anonymous

As a parent, I got this gag.

Tired

Is this a legitimate problem… I mean as long as grad recruitment don’t find out – but that also depends on the size of the firm etc. What’s more important to you: your future or a date with some guy you will probably stop speaking to after three months…

Not Amused

How is this different from the ‘power imbalance’ which is currently being touted as ‘sexual harassment’?

Anonymous

I suppose the main part of it is that the trainee has no input into whether she gets a job or not, realistically.

Anonymous

But the implication. It is like when you take a lady out to sea on a boat and proposition her. The reality of the situation is not as important as her perception of the reality of the situation.

Anonymous

You can’t seriously be comparing the implication that not sleeping with a trainee will prevent her getting the TC with the implication that a woman not sleeping with a man on a yacht will end up badly for her?!

I have a dinghy..?

I think you missed the point….

Anonymous

“How is this different from the ‘power imbalance’ which is currently being touted as ‘sexual harassment’?”

…That a trainee has no power over the writer’s career so there is no power imbalance? And that in any case the writer is pursuing the trainee and not vice versa?

Comments like this make me doubt NA is really a lawyer.

Mr. Charles

Do it – lawyers date other lawyers all the time. If it were a partner or someone senior I would day hell no. But a trainee? Nahh don’t worry.

Anonymous

Just when you thought Legal Cheek couldn’t get any more desperate for content …

Jones Day puppy

People will be gossiping behind your back one way or another.

Trumpenkrieg

If he hasn’t made a move yet that means he’s a low T soyboy. Keep him around and turn him into your beta bucks after you’ve finished short-term romancing all the alpha brutes who don’t care about your feelings.

Zyzzz

FUARK BE PRAISED! Let’s go down the gym and get swole brah!

Anonymous

Lame content. Although LC is increasingly becoming like Heat magazine so probably a move in the right direction for their readership

Anonymous

Why is this news. Who submitted this to LC and what form of bad day was LC having before deciding “hey, I’m sure aspiring barristers, QCs and judges alike need to know about this!!”

I smell Katie King being involved

Anonymous

Agree. It’s just childish nonsense to pad out the LC website

@nighthawkprof

Really?

Ya think?

Scrooge McDuck

No one cares what trainees think so if he badmouths you to other people in the firm it will not be a problem.

Dooge McFuck

Yer noo a real Scotsman I kin tell!

Yer just a wee jobbie wi’ a trainin’ contract!!!!

Dreamboat

lol

Anonymous

I think this may be an advantage… shag your way to the top and all that

Anonymous

Definitely go for it. Be sure to be very giving, both in general and in the bedroom. Talk a bit about your aspirations so that he can feel wise when pseudo-mentoring you, but don’t rattle on about it all day. Give him lots of compliments. Tell his friends how great he is. Tell him how great he is. Do not be too demanding.

Anonymous

Pump and dump.

Gain 20 LAD points.

Anonymous

I think he might just want to have sex with you. That is completely fine. I am sure you will enjoy it, as will he. The added benefit is you are potentially doubling up with a bit of networking. Just remember, sex on the first date is fine and normal and don’t let “slut”-shamers tell you otherwise.

Anonymous

Fake or not, it certainly has everyone talking and is a welcomed distraction when reading 100’s of pages of the same old contract 🙂

Anonymous

Yes Katie and Tom have been busy posting in the comments section to justify this dribble

Tom

Good point well made

Anonymous

Certainly not KK or the like, its me a normal lawyer, working away on contracts which seem to be the same old contracts.

Anonymous

Bored with the same old contracts?

Do legal Aid crime!

Thrice the job satisfaction for thrice less the salary!

Anonymous

Slow news day?

Anonymous

I don’t understand why some people accuse Legal Chrek of dumbing down and are moving to a GCSE audience rather than qualified lawyers when they post great journalist articles like this.

Anon

One week eh? UCL or QMUL law fair are the chief suspects

Anon

Lol no, she said she lived outside of london.

Anonymous

Go to the drinks, just keep your thumb over the top of your bottle at all times.

Anonymous

Genuine advice here. I think that if this guy was a associate (or partner) I’d say leave it (as they might well be consulted on the recruitment process, and that might be a little weird), but as he is a trainee I don’t think there would be any problem from the recruitment perspective. As a trainee he would be unlikely to be in a position to badmouth you if it didn’t work out, and if he did it would just end up making him looking bad. I think it would be a bigger problem if you broker up after starting the TC — but honestly, as long as you keep it professional even that doesn’t have to be a disaster. Relationships between lawyers are common in City firms (because people spend so much time in the office), and not frowned upon (though he might get in trouble if it came to light that he got your phone number at a recruitment event!). If you genuinely like him I would say just go for it. Good luck, with him and with the TC search.

Anonymous

This “conundrum” has KK’s paws all over it.

Ciaran Goggins

If the cad dumps then get you Dad to thrash the bounder to within an inch of his life.

Sexual Harassment Panda

Did you know that when one little panda pulls on another little panda’s underwear, that’s sexual harassment? That makes me a sa-a-a-a-ad panda!

Hoppy the “don't do stuff that might irritate your inner ear” badger.

That’s right. Also don’t do stuff that will irritate your inner ear.

Anonymous

Who gets off with someone at a careers fayre ?

Weeeeeeeeird… Positively fucked up even.

Sackers Partner

Go for it, I went after the new paralegal and bedded him within the week. That chap certainly hoisted my flag….

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