The Secret Barrister once used the words ‘squirrel sex’ to justify a poor exam result during a pupillage interview

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Anonymous super-blogger drops biggest hint to true identity so far


As lawyers took to Twitter over the weekend to share their own amusing pupillage interview stories, blogging heavyweight The Secret Barrier (SB) couldn’t resist recounting his own tale of woe and, in the process, dropping perhaps what is one of the biggest clues as to their true identity so far.

In recognition that pupillage interview season was now upon us, Red Lion Chambers Joanna Hardy encouraged her colleagues to share their amusing anecdotes in a bid “to cheer everyone up” during what “can be a stressful, miserable time.”

Unable to resist, barrister and published author SB revealed they once tried to justify a particularly disappointing exam result with “an explanation that included the words ‘squirrel sex'”. Suffice to say, SB’s reason (which, let’s face it, raises more questions than it does answers) didn’t go down too well with the panel.

The nutty anecdote led many on social media to claim he (or she) was playing a dangerous game and risked being unmasked by those who were present during what would have surely been a memorable interview.

James Chalmers, a regius professor of law at Glasgow University, wrote: “There is surely no way that the interviewers do not remember *exactly* who you were”, while television producer, Duncan Hess, commented: “Well, if that doesn’t blow yer cover, nothing will. #SquirrelSex”. Responding, SB said: “I’m banking on it being long enough ago for them to have forgotten.”

Others, however, seemed more pre-occupied with SB’s squirrel-based explanation:

While their identity still remains secret for now, this isn’t the first time the super-blogger has dropped clues as to who they really are. Last summer, SB was interviewed by Financial Times for its popular ‘Lunch with the FT series’ in a piece that revealed SB was “somewhere between 30 and 40”, had attended a comprehensive school and was a non-Oxbridge law grad.

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It wouldn’t help if he had interviewed with us. We actively exclude candidates who don’t mention squirrel sex in TC interviews.


Or she


Legal Cheek “Journalism” – reporting things written on Twitter. How exhilarating (!)


Gives a whole new meaning to “joining the Tufty Club”…


Dear Alex

We do not want to go to your stupid ego boosting event, how ever many adverts you put in your articles, and even if they do change colour.

Your event costs £300. No one has money to waste on that.


The World.


£300?! Mental


Plus no one even knows any of the speakers.

For £300 I would expect Lady Hall and/or Drake.


Will Young, Gareth Gates and Michael Barrymore are doing a QOCS talk in Wolverhampton later this month for just £5 per person.


Legal Cheek publishes articles that (rightly) shame lawyers and firms for exclusivist, elitist practice

Then they offer a networking event for a mere £300


That is a long tailed and nuts story.


I don’t get it


You will if you join us.


I lost all respect for SB as soon as it became a ‘brand’ with poser-perfect t-shirts, endless self-promotion for their own book and a strange martyr complex whilst they were clearly in a much better place than their clients.

Something just never felt right.


I lost all respect for SB as soon as it degenerated into pious virtue signalling and hatred of trump


It ‘never felt right’ as serious barristers (i.e. those who wear their membership of the profession on their sleeves) are serious dullards and sanctimonious cranks.

And I say that as a barrister. Seriously the less time you spend listening to them the better.


Nice to know I’m not the only one who feels this. She’s pious and boring, and not really funny despite trying VERY hard, and oh so very right on the money with the bang up-to-date vanilla political posturing.

No one dares slag her off publicly for fear of being thought to be envious, but she’s fundamentally quite shit and annoying. She deserves some credit for “raising awareness” with the book I suppose, but still. Yawn.


If SB wishes to speak up for the marginalised, there are many that could be brought up but aren’t ‘trendy’ or ‘woke’ enough for those Twitter ‘likes’.

I personally know at least a dozen closet ‘ex-Muslims’ who wear the hijab, but will literally be shunned by every friend and family member they’ve ever known if they were to speak openly about leaving the faith. Wish there was more wider discussion out there as these people have nowhere to turn.

There is also a brewing scandal about widespread sexual harassment, victimisation and racism within the third sector. SB wants to be publicly patted on the back for aligning herself to a charity, but never speaks of how millions of volunteers have no access to justice/courts if they are sexually harassed. The law makes no provisions for them.

I reserve my respect for those who actually deserve it.


“She’s pious and boring, and not really funny despite trying VERY hard, and oh so very right on the money with the bang up-to-date vanilla political posturing.”

Generic criticism that applies to the majority of the criminal bar, outside the willy waving PINTS! brigade.

Ciaran Goggins

I recall Nightjack being outed. S B will be too, links to plod.


Can someone explain what squirrel sex is, and why you’d say it in an in an interview if you were not a complete throbber?

Ciaran Goggins

When a Mummy squirrel and Daddy squirrel love each other very much they (cont p.9)


There’s no page 9. I was nearly finished you tease.

Ciaran Goggins

Oooh Matron!


Why is being “non-oxbridge” turned into a descriptor/type of person? It’s almost like a new category alongside BAME/LGBT


🎶I wanna live for-ever!🎶


So did SB do poorly in an exam because of his addiction to squirrel porn?

You don't know man. You weren't there.

Sorry, but have you ever heard squirrels having sex? The high pitched screaming makes nails on a chalkboard sound like Mozart’s symphony No. 40 compared that.

I someones scream myself awake at night just reminiscing that moment.

Red Herring

The anecdote is plainly false and a misdirection

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