Five types of lawyer you’ve met this year

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By The Ghost of Lord Denning on

Which legal stereotype are you?

The beasts roaming the legal landscape keep evolving. We meet the ‘New Normal’ lawyers shaping the profession for the next generation.

The MoneyLaw partner

Not the brightest at law school but “a good sort”. Walked into a TC in the noughties when they grew on trees. Got a call a few years later from a headhunter with an opportunity at London office of some US firm. Money was good. Became even better. Worked a lot. Made partner, got divorced … to be honest it’s all a bit of a blur. PEP hit $5 million during lockdown. Doesn’t see much of the family but has grown close to financial advisor. Currently saving up for a private jet.

The boomer QC

Tweets hourly in sympathy with the oppressed. In between does bits of work for £1,000/hour and tends to buy to let portfolio. Misses Tony Blair a great deal. Genuinely baffled by the rise of populism on the left and right. Gets angry just by thinking about Brexit and the spiralling cost of domestic help.

The ‘my head could be turned’ legal aid lawyer

Nope, definitely no regrets about turning down those magic circle TC offers to do a criminal law pupillage. Excels daily at complex and stimulating legal aid work, while becoming ever more embittered by the money. Privately funded criminal defence work would be an option if the clients weren’t so awful. Perhaps the CPS or the GLS would be a better bet. But would that mean Dominic Raab (who they did a vac scheme with at Links in the late 90s) would be their boss?

The in-house lawyer tech bro

Wears Converse and a hoody to work, over a shirt and tie, with dress shoes in a bag under the desk to be changed into for meetings. Craves validation from the creatives in the tech start up where they are head of legal. But is forced to continually reject their (insane and mostly illegal) proposals for developing the questionable product they are collectively struggling to get off the ground. In private moments fantasises about moving to the legal team of a regional insurer.

The tired-with-life trainee

Hasn’t logged off before 10pm since the first lockdown. Now sustained solely by thoughts of ‘filthy NQ lucre’ and bragging rights in the Legal Cheek comments section. Tries not to let related thoughts intrude about higher rate tax, student loan repayments or the cost of saving towards a deposit for a flat in Zone 3, or perhaps 4 or 5. But ultimately knows it will all be worth it for the pension. Then the good times can really get rolling!

NEXT WEEK: The December 2021 UK Virtual Law Fair

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